- I was reminded today of a childhood dream I had. I always wanted to be a pilot. And not just any pilot, I wanted to fly fighter jets. F16's and all that jazz. Now that I know I won't be a fighter pilot, I can hope to fly as a passenger in one one day. We watched the Thunderbirds in their practice run today before the big air show over the next couple of days. WOW. I loved it.
- I don't know where I want to go with my life. I am doing what I want to do, which is being a mother. But I don't know where my life is going. And it scares me.
- I really really really like eating at Cafe Rio. They are at the top of my list along with Olive Garden. Their sweet pork salad is to DIE for! And I have seriously died a million times to get one! Ok, maybe not a million, but at least a thousand. Yeah, ok, so I haven't died yet, but it's the thought that counts...
- I have been running a few times over the last few weeks, and when I don't go running at night, I miss it. I actually really enjoy running, it clears my head, and makes my body feel great.
- I have had 2 miscarriages before we turned to adopting our little one. This was amongst 5 failed Artificial Inseminations, and 3 In Vitro Fertilizations, and many many MANY months of fertility drugs. Most people will think that that is not a lot, and that I shouldn't complain about it, because there are many people out there who have had more than that. But it still hurts. I hate it. I still have days where I cry over it. They are fewer and far between, but they are still there.
And I think I will end with those... I am anxious to let my head meet my pillow. It's been missing it..
5 comments:
I can't imagine why someone would think that what you have gone through so far dealing with fertility issues isn't a lot. I think even having one miscarriage or even all of those times you didn't have a CHANCE to have a miscarriage would be beyond devistating. I am SO happy...more than words can say...that you have your little Hunter and I can't wait until your family is one day complete and blessed with many children. :)
Yeah, well, anyone who tries to tell you how to feel needs to just shut their pie holes. LOL. I've had 2 miscarriages + 2 years unexplained infertility and I wouldn't wish it on anyone!!! It's the hardest thing I've ever gone through.
Everyone has their own set of challenges to get through and no one has a right to say that someone else's aren't hard. You say there's plenty of people that have had it harder than you in the children sense. Well, there's also plenty of people that have had it way easier in the children sense - myself included. I look at what you've been through and know that I couldn't take it. It would kill me and I don't think I'd be up (mentally) to adopting or raising any child after something like that. You are amazing and a wonderful mother.
Wow, I didn't know that you had 2 miscarriages. I had 1...I can't imagine having to go through that twice. When it comes to challenges, I believe we are each given a set of challenges that will test us and refine us. Sometimes it's hard to keep the whole plan in mind because we can only see the little bits and pieces instead of the whole puzzle. It's not what we are given, but what we do with it that matters. You are doing great, I think. Just keep plugging along...someday this whole crazy life will make sense.
Agree with Curtis. been thu alot and still kicking and a amazing mom to boot
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