Thursday, January 31, 2008

Cute flashback..

So, I have been going through pictures to put on my new website, and came across this one of Kasia and I. I thought it was SO cute! (It could be the fact that Melanie did my hair, and beautified me. :-)) So I thought that I would share it with all of you! I hope you enjoy!

Monday, January 28, 2008

He will be missed...

I was so sad to hear about President Hinckley's death. I was heartbroken. I seariously felt like I had lost a family member. I cried. I had the thoughts "Well what do we do now?" And even though he was a GREAT man, the church still goes on. The gospel is not based on a single person. He did his job here, and succeded with flying colors! We have lost a wonderful, caring, kind, passionate, faithful, devoted man. And not just our Prophet, but a great man in general. But, he has graduated! Oh the reunion he must of had! As someone I know put it. "He has all his relatives on one side, all previous Prophets on the other side, and at the and of that row were Heavenly Father, Jesus, and his wife. Just waiting to welcome him home." Oh the joy that he must have had to see his beloved eternal companion again! This takes away some of the sadness that I feel. I hope to always remember him, and his great service to this world! He will be missed...

Wednesday, January 16, 2008


So, our class last night was sharing our struggles with infertility. It was a very good class, and I learned a lot about myself, and others. It was a great class, and a learning experience for both of us. Not only did I get to reach down into myself and realize my feelings, but it also opened it up so Sam could kind of understand what I have been going through. It's been hard. The ups, the downs, and the middle ground. You think that you are ok with everything, and in the blink of an eye, you are devestated again.
It was compared to the loss of a child. Only, no one really grieves with those that are infertle, because it is an invisible pain. We have lost our chance at bearing children. Therefore, we have lost something.
I have had an especially hard time with it in our church. I was raised to be a mother. All through Young Womens, and everything, we were taught to be mothers. I wanted to be a mother. When people would ask me what I was going to do with my life, it was always "I'm going to be a mother" I had no other plans in there. We made promises to multiply and replenish the earth. But I failed at it. I can't do it. Therefore, something must be wrong with me spiritually. I would go to Relief Society, and be looked down on for not having children. It was really hard. And to lose the one thing that I grew up wanting, was a blow. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know who I was. If I can't be a mother....who am I? What can I be? What am I going to do with my life?
But I have learned. That through His atonement, He has felt every single pain I have felt. He has cried every single tear I have cried. He know's what I am going through, and He cries with me. It has taken a long time to realize this, but I have.
Sam and I have been through a lot. We have done multiple infertility treatments, all ending with devestating results. I would sit and wish the doctor's wouldn't sugar coat it and make me have hope. And every month, I would have hope. Until recently. I stopped having hope. I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want to think about it. I felt like I had failed Sam, and couldn't give him what he wanted most, what he deserved to have. Children. But we have a stronger marriage because of it. We have been through some downs that a lot of people won't have to go through. We have stuck together, and made it through. And we have gained a lot of things.
Hope. As we close this chapter of our lives for now, we have hope as we open another one. We have started on the adoption road, and we have been filled with hope. A hope for what tomorrow will bring. We have also gained a lot of faith. To trust in Him and His plan. We are so filled with peace, and love that it is amazing.
Anyway, these are some thoughts that I have thought over in my head from our class last night. And I thought that I would just portray it here. I am sorry that they are just kind of jumbled thoughts. I am not very good at eloquently putting things. I will try to keep you guys updated also. Until next time!

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Adoption Parent Workshop

So, we are supposed to attend the Adoption Parents Workshop so we could continue on with our adoption paperwork. We knew about the classes, and we knew that we had to take them. We were told that the next classes would start in February, and they would be Wednesday nights. Not bad, we thought. We will just arrange our work schedules now so we won't have to do it then. So we left Wednesday's open so we could attend the classes when they started. So, Sam gets a call yesterday and we didn't get the message until after 10:00 last night. All of a sudden, Sam comes downstairs, and says "You've got to listen to this" At this point, with the look on his face..I was thinking something bad had happened. My heart started skipping, I started to panic! Who died? (At least that is what I was thinking) I was really worried!

Well, it turned out to be our caseworker letting us know that the classes were starting today. Not in February, and not on Wednesday's! So we spent the day trying to get a hold of our caseworker to make sure this was correct, and to make sure we could still make it. We also contacted our work to try and make emergency alterations to our schedule. It was a pain, but it will be worth it. So we got everything worked out, and we went to the first class.

This class goes one night a week, 3 hours a night, for 6 weeks. It goes through all different kinds of ups and downs in adoption. How to fill out your paperwork, and how to do things properly. We learned a lot from the class, and we got to meet some really great people. We talked about how adoption is such a miracle, and there was even a family who came in who had adopted just about 7 months ago. The girl was so cute! And it was great to see what adoption can do for a family. We are so excited to head out on this path, and we can't wait until our journey ends, and we hold a sweet little one in our arms! Next week, we will be talking about infertility. This is going to be a struggle for me, because I don't really know the people in the class, and I have a hard time expressing my true feelings about infertility. So we will do our best, and make it through.

Anyway, we are excited to get this on the road, and another step under our belts. We have all of our paperwork filled out, we just need to pay the initial deposit, and then our caseworker will put everything through as quick as possible. Hopefully everything goes through smoothly!

So this is the update on us. Thanks for reading!

Saturday, January 5, 2008


Ok, so we live in Utah. There was this great big storm that was just going to POUND us! It is the storm that was going over California, and knocked out power to 1 million people. CRAZY! So here, we are told to prepare for it, and to be ready. Valleys are going to be getting almost a foot of snow in just a day or two. How exciting! Maybe we will get a snow day!!! Well....let me tell you what we got..


That's right. We had rain. Out of everyone in the state, Cache Valley gets RAIN! Are you kidding me? Aren't we supposed to be colder, and snowier? (not sure if that is a word...) But not only that, but the rain MELTED most of our snow! I've heard Salt Lake got a few inches of snow, my parents got a couple of inches, but COME ON! What happened to my snow day? Hrumph.

But there is a good thing about it, and I guess I should point it out, so I am not THAT negative about it. :-) We get more moisture for our summers! So that is a good point about it. It is supposed to continue to storm until Thursday about, so hopefully we will get SOME snow out of is January after all....

Thursday, January 3, 2008

A Year in Review....

Well, while I am stuck in bed doing absolutely nothing, I might as well give an update on us. We don't send out yearly holiday letters, so I will do my letter here, for anyone reading to read.

Our 2007 started out pretty bad. We had gone through In-Vitro fertilization in December of 2006, and ended up miscarrying on Christmas day 2006. Not a fun time. Luckily we had a GREAT support system with family and friends. That helped tremendously. So that is how we started the year. Sam continued in school, and we became Primary teachers in our ward. In May of 2007, we went through another round of In-Vitro, in which case nothing came from it.
In the fall, Sam started his last year of school. We have not been this excited for school in a LONG time!

Tara opened her photography business officially. She had been training with one of the TOP photographers in Cache Valley if not Utah for most of the year, which really helped her build the confidence to go out on her own. She got a new camera which she loves, and she really enjoys taking pictures and capturing other moments.

Sam has been busy with school, but has enjoyed playing sports when he can. He played in a Turkey Bowl this year and in many basketball games. He enjoyed teaching Primary, and all the kids just LOVED him! Of course it probably doesn't help that he brought candy every week. :-) He enjoys helping Tara get her business up and running.

We spent a lot of time visiting family this year also. We went up to Idaho Falls a couple of times. They also got to welcome a new nephew! Tara's brother's family had a little boy in June, and he is just the highlight of everyone's life! His aunts just love to spoil him!

Our year ended with us trying to fill out our adoption papers. We should have them all done within the week.

We are excited for what 2008 will bring us. There is a lot to happen and to be thankful for. Thank you all for your love and support and for sticking with us!

Sam and Tara