Sunday, January 26, 2014


Asthma sucks. 
Big Time. 
And Bubba and I both get to experience this "wonderful" illness. 
With Bubba it makes his colds last twice as long, and any other illness it exaggerates it quite a bit. 
We've done breathing treatments and he has an asthma inhaler (which helps a LOT)

Well this morning, I woke up with one of the worst reactions I've ever had. 
I couldn't breathe. 
And when I could, it was very much just wheezing. 
Luckily the inhaler worked throughout the day and I can breathe better now. 
My chest and lungs just hurt. 
And I'm tired. So tired. 
But better. Which is good. 

And I just got thinking. I usually only post on here when we are sick. Which probably makes it seem like we are sick a lot. 
But we really aren't. We are healthy most of the time! 

Yesterday, we had some of our amazing friends come and visit us! 
I was SO excited for them to come! I got to take some photos of them, and we had a dinner, and it was absolutely WONDERFUL! 
I loved every.single.minute. that they were here! 
I am lucky to have friends that are absolutely perfect for my soul.

Here is a cute picture I took of their littlest who turns 1 here this week!!

So....if anyone wants to come visit us....PLEASE do!! 

Monday, December 30, 2013


how many blog posts have i started out with that title? 
good grief. 

bubba and i are both fighting something. blah. bubba has his yearly nasty cough, that will most likely last until march with his asthma. :/ 
other than the cough and runny nose though, he seems to be running 100%. 
he has 
i don't know how to keep up. 
i need to learn to bottle it and sell it. 
i'd be rich. 

as for me, i just have fatigue. my body is worn down. luckily i can still breathe, no cough, and no stomach issues. 

so we are spending the day watching movies, transferring files on the computer, updating software and working on business plans for the next year. 

it's going to be great! 

i also wanted to show a favorite family photo from the year. love this little family of mine. :) 

let's hope we get most of the way better so we can start off the new year RIGHT! 

Sunday, December 29, 2013

end of a year

it is now december 29th, of the year 2013. 
this year is coming to a close. 
december has been a hard month for me, and i can't pinpoint what it is. 
probably a lot of different things at once. 

but, we've moved into our house, and it is AMAZING. 
we are seriously SO blessed to be able to live here! 
i was promptly called into the relief society presidency as the secretary. it's kind of weird as i haven't been in relief society for YEARS. i've been with the primary, and the young women's. 
so needless to say, this is different. 
bubba LOVES his primary class, and he loves that a lot of the kids in his class are also in his school class! we carpool to school each day, and he rides the bus home from school. 
he loves it. 
although it's taken some getting used to. 
he is getting so big, and i can't believe that he will turn 6 this next year! 
he gets more and more angel kisses all the time, and i love them. he loves rescue bots, and super heroes.  and his favorite person in the world right now is "uncle josh".  his favorite foods are calamari, yams, and noodles.  he is growing like a weed, and is one of the tallest in his class. i swear i am buying new pants for him every couple of months. either he's grown out of them, or he's ripped holes into them. :) 

my favorite things with him are morning snuggles, eating meals together, and playing games. i love that he still loves cuddling with me, and he isn't ashamed of my kisses yet. 
he tells me every day that i'm the best mommy in the world, and he loves me  62 thousand thousand times. (that's a LOT if you didn't know. :)) he encourages us to be better every day. he makes me smile, and he reminds us every night that we need to say family prayer. he can't go to bed without it. so thankful for this sweet spirit who makes me want to be better on a daily basis. 

i still haven't hung anything up in our house. i think it's a fear of putting holes in the brand new walls. :) 
but i am sure i will get there sometime. :) 

christmas was great! 
it was so much fun to spend christmas morning in our house. we were able to decorate (i will admit that my christmas decorations, or ANY decorations for that matter are lacking. :)) it and do some fun traditions. we got to include family and friends, and we really just had a great time spending it with them! 
we were able to talk to curtis (my brother) on christmas day via Skype! he's looking so good, and he's having fun. he is currently serving a mission for the LDS church in the louisville kentucky mission. he of course loves the area and the people. but we can't wait until he is home! 

thanksgiving was spent with my family. we had such a wonderful meal, and we got to play games and just have fun! we didn't do any black friday shopping this year, which was nice! 

christmas day marked the 7 year anniversary for our first "official" miscarriage. i still take it hard. which surprised me. but we made it through. december also marks the month that we found out that crystal had chosen us to raise bubba. i remember that day like it was yesterday, and we try to celebrate that day every year as well. 
december is also the mark for our adoption paperwork! haha. our paperwork has been in the system for 2 years now. 
it is amazing. with bubba, from getting our paperwork in, to going live, to him being born was 3 months. 
this time it's been two years. 
every one says to just be patient. that it will happen on the Lord's time. 
but it doesn't make it easier. 
i often wonder what's wrong with us. why wouldn't someone choose us? what are we supposed to learn from this? 
and every day, bubba asks when he's going to get a little brother or sister. 
or talks about how he just wants someone else to play with
or asks why i don't have a baby in my tummy ("it's a factory! can't you just make one like aunt kaleigh?) 
and every time it gets harder to think that he just might not get a sibling. 
but that thought 
i've been thinking a lot the last little while about how to submit to the Lord's will. 
i don't know how. 
my desire for a bigger family is SO strong, that i don't know how to let that go, and just be happy. 
sometimes it consumes me. 
but we live each day, grateful for the wonderful blessings we have. 
we hope and pray, and KNOW that the Lord is mindful of us. 
and that things will work out. 
He doesn't want us to be sad. He wants us to be happy. 
so we hold on to the thought that we can be happy now, and we can reach complete happiness with Him. 

but anyway, that's enough heavy for us right now. :) 
we are excited for 2014, and what it has in store for us.
we hope you have an absolutely amazing new year. :)

Friday, November 15, 2013

new home

well, we are moved as of a couple of weeks ago into our new home. 

we finally got internet hooked up this week. 
we have bubba in his new school and he is very excited to be there. 
he gets to ride a bus home from school every day. 
i can't tell you what that does to this momma's heart. 
but he does it, and he loves it.  
apparently he sits by a girl names megan. 
and he chases her at recess. 

we are becoming accustomed to our house, the sounds that it makes, and the sounds we don't hear. 
we are away from neighbors (as in, we don't share a wall with them!) and we love it! 
last night, sam and i watched "white house down" and we turned the sounds system up. 
and nobody complained. 

we have a kitchen, and i've been able to cook some meals in it, which makes sam happy. 
he gets leftovers for lunch. :) 

our ward was split the sunday that we got here. 
it was split from having over 700 active members
to 536. 
it's still huge. 

our neighbors are wonderful, and we've chatted with them at various times, and they brought us dinner just after we moved in. 
i think we'll be friends. 

but...despite all this love and excitement we have for our new home. 
we miss our other one. 
not so much the apartment, but the neighborhood, the friends, and family. 
it's very true when someone says "home is where your heart is"

i guess i don't feel like my heart is out here yet. 
it's still back out in layton. 
i miss my friends that i would hang out with as often as we could. 
i miss the routine that we were in. 
and i miss my family. 

very much so. 

the last couple of days as we've tried to get into a routine here, i have felt lonely. 
i crave for someone to sit and chat with. 
i used to think that i would be happy staying by ourselves the rest of our lives. 
but i need social interaction. 

this will get easier. 

and i know that we have it easy. a lot of people i know aren't even close to their families (michelle, how's england? :))
so an hour away shouldn't be so bad. 

i guess it's just hard adjusting when we would go over to my parents 

but we will find friends, and we will love it out here!
i am sure of it. :) 

but in the meantime, just know we are still here
trying to get into a routine. :) 

Thursday, October 10, 2013

time to start again

"i need to write on my blog again, i've been really bad about it" 

"yes you have"

that was a conversation held with my mother the other day. 

it's been weighing heavily on my mind the last little bit. 

this urge, or need to write on my blog. 
to keep people updated. 
to just write. 

so here i am. 
i really don't think anyone reads this anymore. 
but if you do. thanks. you know..for sticking around. :) 

i suppose i feel the need to write again because things are changing so much, that i can't remember what i have going on from day to day, and i want to look back and be able to remind myself of things that have happened! 

i'll give you a quick rundown of what's been going on the last few months. 

let's see...

we went to california and spent a week at a family reunion in the ever amazing city of el cajon and san diego. 
we also spent some time going up to newport beach, huntington beach, and legoland. 
and on the way back, spent a night in las vegas. 

i started a busy summer with photography, which has been great! 
we also decided to build a house. (are we crazy yet?) 

spent a great 4th of july with my family, and enjoyed the festivities. 
signed a contract to build our house. (eek!) 
photography got even busier. 
sam is enjoying his job. 
we celebrated ELEVEN years of marriage. :) 

we went through another miscarriage.
our house started getting built! 
it's a wonderful house out in tooele county. 
i know, i know. it's SO far away. but isn't. and it will be nice. 
i celebrated my 30th birthday. i am officially out of my 20's. 

i had a FUN road trip to california to photograph a wedding, and had the wonderful pleasure of having a friend come with. 
we also had a wonderful weekend with my family at strawberry camping and catching fish. 

bubba started KINDERGARTEN and i may/may not have cried (definitely). 
he's getting SO big. 
he is a chatterbox, and is non-stop. 
i seriously don't know where he gets his energy to go, go, go and not stop from the moment he wakes up to the moment he falls asleep! 
he lost his first tooth as well. 

school keeps us on a schedule.
our house is coming along SO fast! 
no trips this month. 
i had the opportunity to photograph 5 weddings this month. 
spending as much time as we can with friends. 

so far this month, sam enjoyed his birthday this last weekend. 
i sure love that man, 
bubba lost his second tooth. (seriously. stop growing) 
our house is almost complete. they are planning on finishing it by the end of this month, and we could be moving as soon as 3-4 weeks. 
i'm beginning to think that i'm not ready for this step. 

so there. are we caught up? 
know something that i missed? 

since we will be moving away from our family, and i won't be seeing my mother on a near daily basis. i am hoping that i can spend more time writing on my blog. 
hopefully it will include different things that we are doing to our home, and more photos of bubba, because i'm pretty sure that 99% of the people who read this blog only come here to see him. :) 

so, let's encourage me to keep writing, mkay? 
great thanks. 

enjoy your day. :) 

Monday, May 13, 2013

have i done any good

"have i done any good in the world today?
have i helped anyone in need?
have i cheered up the sad and made someone feel glad?
if not, i have failed indeed. 
has anyone's burden been lighter today
because i was willing to share?
have the sick and the weary been helped on their way?
when they needed my help was i there?

then wake up and do something more
than dream of your mansion above
doing good is a pleasure, a joy beyond measure, 
a blessing of duty and love. 

there are chances for work all around just now, 
opportunities right in our way. 
do not let them pass by, saying, "sometime i'll try,"
but go and do something today. 
'tis noble of man to work and to give; 
love's labor has merit alone. 
only he who does something helps others to live. 
to God each good work will be known. 

then wake up and do something more
than dream of your mansion above.
doing good is a pleasure, a joy beyond measure, 
a blessing of duty and love."

make sure you go out and make someone smile today. :) 

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

5 years old

so, how have you been doing? 

we've been doing alright over here. 

i noticed that it's been a couple of months since i've posted anything. 
i should probably get on that..

bubba turned 5 last month. 
can you believe it? 
i certainly can't. it's hard for me to think that it's been 5 wonderful years since he was placed in our arms. 
and i love him more and more each day. 
his favorite things right now are: 

star wars
any kind of costume
ramen noodles
riding his bike
playing skylanders and star wars lego for the wii
nice people
trying to read
 chocolate milk

things that he doesn't like are: 
any mexican food. 
except quesadillas 
mean people 

he is a very determined kid when it comes to something he wants. 
he can be one of the sweetest kids as well. he loves giving hugs to people, and will give complete strangers hugs, just cause he feels like it. 
he is someone who does small talk
and i am not. 
so he will get me talking to someone out in public

not a day goes by that he doesn't ask when his baby sister is coming. 
and i have to keep telling him "i don't know"
he also only prays for a baby sister. 
he will for a baby brother when he thinks about it, 
but his mind automatically goes towards a sister. 

he is funny and he loves to tease everyone. 
he also likes having his way, and gets his "feelings hurt" when he doesn't. 
he says he wants to marry me when he grows up, so he can live with me for always. 
he also wants to marry his aunts. 
and pretty much any female that crosses his path. 

he's a flirt, and can sweet talk anyone. 
he loves to eat, and i can see our grocery bill going up in the future. 

my brother left on his mission for the LDS church last month, and he asks every day when curtis will be home. 
he also says he wants to be just like curtis when he grows up, and go on a mission. 

he is absolutely the light of our life, and we are SO grateful that he is with us!! we love him to the moon and beyond. 

on other notes, we are still waiting to be chosen by a birthmother, and we are looking at buying a house. 
boo and yay!