Countdown is on

we will be leaving for Oregon in about 36 hours.

i.am.so.excited.

i wish that i lived in oregon. that is how much i love it.
(thank you mom and dad for the vacations that instilled this love into my heart)

there is still SOOO much to do. the list is endless.

laundry, clean, edit, a photoshoot tomorrow night, shop, deliver pictures, pack..
ugh

can someone come and do it all for me? pretty please? i will pay in cookies. :-)

and we have now lived in our apartment for 2 months. woo hoo! and i still don't have everything unpacked. haha. we are just about done with everything except for our bedroom. but then once everything is unpacked, i get to decorate. :-) any ideas are welcome.

oh yeah. why are we going to oregon?
(besides the beach calling my name..)

crystal is getting married. :-) that's right, friday she will be tying the knot to joey. i am so excited to be able to go up and take their wedding pictures.
beyond.excited.
to tell you the truth, i think i squealed when i found out.

we will be staying a couple of extra days to, of course, spend at the beach. :-) it has been calling my name over and over again, and i am so spoiled to have a hubby who gives in to my whims. :-)

anywho...36 hours and counting.

All things F...

this last weekend was the 4th of July. what comes with the 4th?

family

friends

food

fireworks

floats

we had a blast. we went to the Kaysville parade on saturday, then we had a bbq at my parents house, and then fireworks. i always LOVE the kaysville fireworks.

love.them.

sunday was spent singing patriotic hymns in church, and then dinner at my parents again, a FUN photoshoot with an exciting family, and then fireworks at my parents house. we made sure to spend a lot of time thinking about those who have served and are serving for us.

my brother being one of them

monday was filled with another photoshoot, and then fireworks in the evening. we went over to jackie and brandon's for those and then enjoyed games afterwards with them.

earlier on in the week, i had my sister's, my brother, my sister in law, and my nephew all come out for a little photoshoot i was trying to do. the picture at the top of this post is of my sister in law and my nephew.

ADORABLE aren't they?

i haven't had a chance to process all the images, because, well..i've been busy.

after we were all done, i had kaleigh grab a couple of shots of my little family (got to get us in every once and a while!)







anyway, we had a LOT of fun, and i can't wait for next year. :-)

FrIdAy NiGhT CoNfEsSiOnS

Yes, I know that by the time most of you read this, it will be Friday morning, or Friday afternoon. But it is Friday none the less, and I thought...

why not bring back Friday Night Confessions?

it's been a while..no?
(so please forgive me if I repeat a lot that I don't remember posting :-))

So....let's see what we've got.

~I absolutely love summer. I do. The warm sun, the thunderstorms, the warm night. The need to NOT sleep with blankets on. But i REALLY don't like how it makes my skin feel. Yuck. I don't need to put any moisturizer or make up on, and my skin feels disgusting.

~Bubba is starting to talk more, and I love it. This isn't really a confession I guess, just something I would throw in there.

~ My first kiss (REAL lip to lip kiss) was my hubby. We had been dating between 4 and 5 months. I had asked him to an Institute Dance, and he agreed. We went, and he kissed me on his doorstep when I dropped him off. I drove home in a cloud. And still do when I kiss him. :-)

~I love crab. Crab and Avocado sandwiches are absolutely DIVINE. I just have to ignore the itching on my tongue afterwards. :-)

~ If I were to ever get a tatoo, it would be on the back of my shoulder. And it would be a cool design of something. Not really sure what though...

~I grew up always wanting to pierce my ears a few more times. As I got older, I was glad that I didn't. But there are still times that I am tempted to go get them pierced again. (Don't worry mom, I most likely won't.)

~I am beyond ready to adopt again. Bubba needs a sibling, and I can't wait until we are ready to put in our papers again. Hopefully it's sooner rather than later.

~I have to tell Bubba at least once a day this. "Don't bite _(insert random body parts)_!!" Silly boy will bite his toes, and then exclaim "ow" and continue doing it while laughing. Makes me worried that he actually enjoys the pain! Silly boy.

Ok, I guess that will be all for now. Hope you enjoy :-)

Last Shooting Star

It's late, I wander aimlessly around
maybe if I go up there, I'll fall to the ground.

The stars are so bright, so true and so far,
I wonder what it would be like if I were a star.

I plead with the stars that I hold oh so dear,
please show me a sign, let me know you are near.

I please to the One to show me some light,
Cause that's what I need on this dark, chilly night.

I close my eyes, and whisper "please show me the way",
"Please give me the courage to live one more day"

I open my eyes, that are wet with my tears,
As He slowly tries to wipe away all of my fears.

"I'm scared, I'm lonely, am I doing what's right?"
And I hear the wind whisper late in the night.

I close my eyes with tears down my face,
"please give me the strength to finish this race."

I look up at the stars my constellation far,
just in time to see that last shooting star.

Right through the stars I was talking to,
I still don't understand what I'm supposed to do.

But that star, that last little string of hope,
Gave the strength, the courage that I need to cope

I sit out on my roof, late in the night,
Praying to him to show me the light.

Just when you think the finish line is too far,
Look up and He'll show you,
that last shooting star.

-Written by me in 2001

I found this poem while I was cleaning through some stuff today. How true it is today, as it was 9 years ago. I can't remember why I wrote it. But I am sure glad I did. :-)
Enjoy

more

ever feel like you can do so much better?

like you aren't the best version of yourself, or of what you can be?

or maybe just something is missing, but you can't figure out what it is to just complete you at that moment?

this is how i have felt today
just not all there

i feel like i could be so much better than what i am. there are SO many things that i could learn, and do, and apply, and accomplish.

but i don't know how to get there.

i could do so much more with bubba, with sam, for myself.
but how

i need to do more.

which is crazy when i come to think of what i already have going on in my life.
but i need to do more.

i need to learn more, apply myself more, make more of myself, i need to DO more

i need to give more kisses and hugs, i need to build more forts, i need to play more, i need to not care so much, i need to compliment more, i need to listen more, i need to be there, i need to cook more, i need to be more crafty, i need to read more, i need to snuggle more, i need to smile more, i need to judge less,
i need to love more.

i need to apply myself more. with my business, i don't feel like i am where i want to be as a photographer. i need to push myself more to get there, without losing myself along the way. i need to be me more. and not let everyone else control my life. i need to stand up for what i believe in more.

i need to be more grateful for what i have and not focus so much on what i don't.

i need to be a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, and photographer

but sometimes, i just don't feel like enough


(this was taken yesterday morning. I sure love this little man)

Summer

I absolutely love summer. And my favorite parts of summer are from Memorial day to the 24th of July. I absolutely love all the family get togethers, the BBQ's, the holidays, festivities, fairs, rodeos, EVERYTHING! And this summer we are having FUN!

We started out with Memorial Day in California. We had a lot of fun! We had Father's day spent with my family. Steaks, yummy corn, salads. Ahhh. We will be spending the 4th of July here as well and attending all of Kaysville's fun activities! And then we will be off to Oregon for our AMAZING Crystal's wedding! We are oh so very excited for it.

Anyway, that's what's going on right now. We have been taking advantage of my aunts pool while she is out of town. We are going to have to keep this up when she comes back! (THANK YOU CATHY!!) And Bubba LOVES the water! We bought him (ok, Kaleigh bought him) some arm floaties, and then we bought him a noodle. He loves to try and swim! He always tells us to let go so he can float there and doggie paddle. My little boy is growing up!



His favorite phrase right now is "I wanna go home" whenever he is sad, upset, tired, bored, or doesn't get what he wants, he says "Ianna go home" It's so funny. :-)

I am very sore right now. I was stretching out on the floor and Bubba climbed up onto the couch and then jumped on my ribs. Needless to say, it kind of hurts to breathe, and move. So I'm sitting here trying to catch up on everything.

I hope you all have a great summer!

Feelings

Well, after being sick this week, I decided that I had better take a moment and update my blog. Because, I really am not supposed to let it drag on this long :-)

Sam has started a new job, and is doing well at it. It is a graveyard shift though, so it's been hard on our schedules. Remember all my Friday Night Confessions (I really should start those up again..) where I said I HATED being alone?
yeah
I'm alone each night.
Which I can't say has been easy. I am TERRIFIED of being alone. So, I usually end up staying up until Sunrise and then falling asleep. Kaleigh finally convinced me yesterday to do and stay the night with my family. Which I must say, really helped on me catching up on sleep. :-) But I still need a lot more, and as it nears 1 in the morning, I don't see it coming anytime soon...
maybe I should put House in

Bubba is doing well. He makes me smile every day. Although I admit that it is HARD being a parent. And some days, I want to run away and hide for a bit.
But he gives me a hug and a kiss
and somehow this all seems worth it. :-)

Here are some pictures that were taken clear back in JANUARY! So, they are 6 months old, and there is a HUGE difference between now and then. He's growing up too fast.

Yes, notice the THREE hats on his head? He likes hats..

The crab hat from Grandma and Grandpa

Playing in Great Grandma's bathtub. He sure liked that tub!








As for the feelings title of this post..
Do you ever get the feeling you should be doing something. But you can't seem to do it? That's something that I am experiencing right now. I keep getting the feeling that we need to put in our papers again, but we aren't ready in other ways yet. So I am hoping we can put in our papers soon.
And sooner than it is looking...
because I know better than to not listen to those feelings.