I love this little guy..

Today was such a nice day out, and Bubba got to wear his new sunday clothes, so we decided to take some pictures of him. I know..shocking. But as his birthday nears, I feel like I have to take more and more pictures to catch everything. So here are some pictures from today...Man I love this little guy.

Especially his little hands and his little feet.

And I love that he loves me.

And the cute faces he makes. (This is the one saying he is tired.)

Man, I just love him SOOOO much! Sometimes I just can't stand it.

Friday Night Confessions

You all thought I forgot didn't you! Well I didn't, I just got done with a Girls Night Out with my Mom, sisters, and aunts. Actually one isn't my REAL Aunt, but she is close enough, so I will just call her one. She is actually my mom's college roommate, and she is SOO cute and fun! I love her! Anyway...not what you came on to read right now..so I best hop to it...

• One year ago TODAY we met with Crystal. (For those who don't know, Crystal is Bubba's birthmother.) I remember sitting in an office, scared out of my wits, wondering if she was going to like us. And what we would do if she didn't like us, and what we would do if she did, and what if...and then we met her. She is an AMAZING woman! We sat and talked with the caseworker, and then we went out to eat lunch. This is 10 days before Bubba was born. Crazy, but WONDERFUL day.
• I love Olive Garden. I think I could eat there every day. Mainly their bread sticks, and their salad. MMmmm...lovely.
• I really don't want Bubba to turn 1. I want to keep him little for as long as possible. In fact, I have delayed planning a birthday party for him...just because I don't want to face reality.
• I have a big issue with people abandoning me. I always worry that people in my life are just going to leave me. Leave me with no explanation, no meaning, no reason. And I will be left alone. I've dealt with this, and it is HARD. Always feels like a piece of my heart has been ripped out, and I will never get it back. It hurts.
• Along with the last one, I have a fear of being alone. I always tell Sam that I HAVE to die before him, because I really don't want to be alone.
• I want flip flops in every single color. Why? I have no reason. I just do.
• I have found a new addiction. LEMON COOKIES. Seriously, best thing EVER. There is a place up here named "Cutler's" And they make these lemon cookies. My sister Tanielle would get them, and I would eat them. Well, Tanielle tried to make her own Lemon Cookies. And lo and behold...they are even BETTER than the ones Cutler's makes! I am ashamed to say that I ate 11 cookies...in one sitting. (OK, so I am not really ashamed to say it...but hey, it adds emphasis to the post)
• It is Friday night, Sam left at 11:30 this morning, and I miss him terribly. I almost don't want to go to bed, because I don't want to go to bed by myself. I wish that he was here with me every night, and didn't have to go work on weekends.
• I am being told that I have too many confessions tonight. ;-) So I will end here.

Good Night all!

Update

I thought that I would jump on really quick and give an update on Bubba. He is doing MUCH better. He only wakes up once at night now, his coughing doesn't keep him awake. When he first got sick, he would only sleep for 10-30 minutes and that was it. He would wake up, cry, cough, and try to go back to sleep for another 10-30 minutes. But he now sleeps again! Yay! He is also eating again, and he plays more. He hasn't had a fever for about 3 days now, and is just overall doing better. I am very excited for this! Hopefully we can keep him well for a while! I mean, it just wouldn't be fun to be sick on your birthday...

Anyway, a couple of days into it, I took these pictures. He was sleeping on our bed, but he kept wiggling. This is how he ended up. Funny thing, he was asleep for the whole thing! Silly boy..

Poor Sam. His arm started hurting after a while, but we didn't want to wake him up, and we didn't want him falling off of the bed!

TV...

This is a weakness...it pains me to admit this, but I have a weakness for a certain TV show that has sucked me in. I wait all week to be able to watch it, and when I wake up Sunday mornings, I think "YES! I get to watch my show tonight!!" Sad I know, but I can't help it. What show you ask? What show could possibly derail my life and make me wait anxiously week by week to see what happens?

"The Amazing Race"

Awful I know. But I really can't help it. I have only watched a couple of seasons, and this is the 14th season. But I have to come to try and watch it every single week. It's awful! I admit that I have a problem, and that's the first step correct? Aw well...at least I'm not in denial. And now that this week is over...I will anxiously await next weeks episode...

Friday Night Confessions

Here we go again!

• I hate sickness.
• I am VERY excited that we finally got a Birth Certificate, and Social Security Number for Bubba! Now I can do my taxes.
• I am scared of my siblings driving. No offense, I am just not used to it. I hold onto the seat a LOT.
• I get car sick easily. Growing up, I had a special seat in the car because I was the one we were always pulling over for. I can still point out the spot in Sardine Canyon that we would always pull over at.
• Sam wishes that I cook more for him. And I really don't like to cook. I will try to think of everything I can to get out of cooking...we had a lot of frozen pizza, pot pies, and mac n cheese.
• I actually watched The Bachelor this last season...and I enjoyed it.

I think that is all for this week. My family has been sick, and I am exhausted and just can't think anymore! Enjoy!

My Mom

This week my mom had surgery on her arm. She had a cyst on her wrist (rhyming not intentional) that was causing her pain and so it was to be removed. Surgery lasted about 1/2 an hour, and she was cyst-free!! Yay!! Well...with having her arm in a cast, she has found some things that are harder to do...such as doing her hair. So we went and had it cut so that it would be a little easier for her to do 1 handed. So here is her new do, and her with her cast.

This posting is mainly for my Grandma and Grandpa, so they can see what their daughter looks like. :-) Enjoy!

Bronchiolitis

Sorry I have been away for a few days. My baby is sick, and he needed me. Monday morning, Bubba woke up with a cough. We were kind of expecting it since it had been about a week since he got over his last cold, and the doctor's told us that this was expected. He would get another cold. Which for him I guess involves coughing.
So he had a cough and a slight fever Monday. Gave him some Motrin, he seemed to be doing better. His voice was so hoarse! And I guess he thought it was cool, because he kept babbling to us, and then he would giggle.
Tuesday, his cough was worse, he was wheezing and he was more mopey, and just generally didn't feel good. Still had a fever, even after Motrin. We were getting kind of worried about him. I was sitting here holding him while he slept and just watched him. He was having a hard time breathing as parts of his stomach and chest were dipping in a little bit as he breathed. We finally decided to take him into the doctor's office that night. Luckily there is a pediatrics place open 24/7. So we went in about 9:00 at night. Waited to be seen by a doctor. We were worried, because his cough had never been this bad before. I mean, he would cough and cough and barely breathe in between, his face would just go red and he would lay down on whatever was closest to him.
So we get back into a room where a nurse takes his temperature (99.2 I believe) and weighs him (still 25 pounds). She put a thing onto his foot to get his oxygen levels in his body. It was 84%. So he wasn't getting the oxygen that he needed. The nurse showed us how to count his breaths. So we did that and it averaged at about 45 breaths a minute. Doctor wants to see it below 55. So we were OK there.
Doctor came in and listened to his breathing through the stethoscope and told us that he has Bronchiolitis. Now...what is this caused by? Some virus. The main virus is RSV. Dr told us we could spend more money to get another test done to say for sure if it was RSV, but that treatment was the same. I HATE this illness. My little brother Curtis had it when he was a baby and was hospitalized with it. I heard the diagnosis and I did my best not to cry.
They did a breathing treatment on him there in the office. Bubba HATED it! He screamed the whole time, until he couldn't scream anymore. That took 15 minutes, then we tested his oxygen again. It was 94%. So luckily it helped that. His wheezing wasn't bad anymore, and he seemed happier. So they sent us home with a prescription for Albuterol to take every 4-6 hours as needed for breathing. Went home after 3 hours, and just rested. Bubba was NOT sleeping very well. He would sleep for 10-15 minutes and then wake up coughing, or just wake up. Yesterday he was very mopey and still just trying to sleep. I think he took 6 short naps throughout the day. After only sleeping a couple of hours the night before.
Last night was probably the best sleep he has gotten. As I write this, he has been asleep for the last 2.5 hours, only waking up once or twice but going right back to sleep.
Bad thing is whenever the motrin wears off, if we aren't right on top of it (like when he's sleeping) his fever will spike up. This morning it was 103, yesterday morning it was 102. Here is what he looks like right now..

He has been sleeping in bed with us, so we can feel his breathing and we can help him whenever he needs it.

I feel AWFUL. Last night was the most sleep I have gotten since Sunday night, and it was just under 5 hours. I am still so scared for him. I count his breaths whenever I can to make sure they aren't going too high and that his meds are helping. His cough just tears my heart to pieces, and he has now learned "ow" he will cough and then look at me and go "oww" breaks my heart. Everyone says to count my blessings, and I am VERY thankful that he is NOT in the hospital yet. We still aren't free and clear on it, but he hasn't had to go in yet. He still struggles to breathe and you can tell when he is having a hard time, but I feel like all I can do is hold him. He has these sad little red eyes because he isn't getting enough sleep, and a sad little moan.

Anyway...this is long enough. So if you have wondered where I have been...that's where. Usually right in bed with that little guy trying to make him feel better, and not fall apart at the same time..