please share

I would like to open up a little bit of me for you.

This is my wonderful little family. I am thankful for them EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for them. And I also look at them as a proud accomplishment. I worked HARD for this little family. I gave my body and dignity up to injections, surgeries, ultrasounds, doctor visits, medication, and  multiple disappointment to get this little family. We have endured 10+ years of infertility, multiple rounds of IUI's, 3 rounds of IVF, and 3 miscarriages.

I can't birth kids of my own. We've been told by 3 different doctors that it isn't possible. It would literally take a miracle.

This little man, came to our family through the wonderful gift of adoption. And I won't go a single day without expressing my thanks to God for him, and his wonderful momma. I would NOT be living my dream without them. I can't express my feelings for adoption. It has blessed my life like nothing else can. I know there are a lot of differing opinions on it, and everyone deserves their opinion. But, I would not be where I am without it. And his momma? She is a WONDERFUL person who we still keep in contact with. We love her, and consider her part of our family.

Well...we absolutely love our family of three, but know there are other littles out there for our family. So, we are trying to adopt again. It's been a long process. We completed the paperwork 1.5 years ago. We've had ups, and downs. We've had hopeful situations not work out, and we've recently been scammed.  It's not easy. And I won't lie, some days I HATE the wait. Most days though, I look forward to our future with SO much hope.

But there are still strains with adopting.

If you aren't aware, adoption costs range anywhere from $7K to $50K and up. Depending on the agency. That can be a huge chunk of change.So we are asking for help to offset some of the costs of adoption. But don't worry, we have something to offer :) We have set up a page where you can purchase prints of your choice.

 You  can go HERE to view and purchase prints.

We have a variety of photos that you are welcome to purchase and 100% of the profit will go towards an adoption. I absolutely HATE asking for money, so we thought this was a win/win where you can purchase something pretty for your home, and it would be going to a good cause.

If you don't see a photo that you would like printed, but still would like to contribute, we won't say no. :) You can click on the donate link on the right side bar --------->>

Thank you so much for helping us grow our family. I hope you enjoy your prints in your home, and that is makes you smile whenever you look at it. 

if you are suffering from infertility, or are going through adoption. please feel free to contact us. we love to help out however we can, and want you to know you aren't alone. :) 

half? step? who cares?

what is a half sister? 

what is a step brother? 

what is a full sibling? 

as adults we know the answers. 

one set of dna from one of the same parents, children from another marriage brought into the current marriage, and children with the same biological mom and dad. 

kids don't know this. 

according to small children, they don't care. 

i've seen this recently. 

and they're right. 

it.doesn't.matter. 

aren't we all children of our Heavenly Father? 

doesn't that make us all brother's and sisters? 

i know there are rolls that we have to follow here on earth (you now, parent/child/grandparents/etc)

but aren't we all siblings?

so why does it matter if we don't use the proper "labeling"?

if we had to label each child for how they came to earth, 

my children would never be siblings. 

they will most likely never have the same dna as their siblings. 

so wouldn't that make them step children to each other, and to sam and i?

NO. 

i can't accept that. 

i won't accept that. 

my children will be my children. my sons and daughters. 

my children will be siblings. 

full brother and sister. 

no matter HOW they come into our family. 

we are ALL a giant family. 

we are ALL children of God. 

we are ALL brother and sister. 

let's act like it. 

and maybe i'm off in my thinking.
and i know that there are a lot of people who won't agree with me.
but that's ok.
i respect your thoughts, so please respect mine. :) 

5

that's right. 

5 views have been on my blog in the last 5 days. 

michelle, my mom, me, my mom, my mom, and...

my mom. 

you would think that i update my mom enough, 

seeming as i can't go a single day without calling her. 

wait scratch that. 

it's 10:00pm and i haven't called her today yet. 

you can bet your pretty face i'll be calling her shortly. 

i'm sure glad she loves me. 

i think most people would be annoyed to spend as much time with me as my mother does. 

oh wait. 

sam does. 

so, michelle and mom, you should ask if sam gets annoyed with me. 

and mom, if you get annoyed with me...

don't tell me. :) 

i really don't want to know. 

so

how is your 2013 treating you? 

mine is going juuuuuuust peachy. 

i've spent most of it with my mom. 

did you know my sister is getting married in 13 days? 

or is it 12..

either way, there's a lot o' stress coming from that house. 

but she's marrying a pretty amazing guy. 

he's going to be fun in our family. 

and he's pretty lucky, because he's marrying one of my best friends. 

and i still can't believe she is old enough to marry. 

do you ever have an event in your life where the people are kind of frozen in that state?

mine was 10.5 years ago when i got married. 

my sister was 10. 

she will forever remain 10 in my mind.

and my brother will remain 8. 

did i tell you that he's leaving in 2 months? 

good grief, where have i been? 

he's leaving to serve a 2 year mission for our church. 

in louisville kentucky. 

i still can't believe it. 

and even though i'm pretty excited for him, 

i'm not looking forward to missing him for 2 years. 

but he will be a GREAT missionary. 

trust me. 

can i take a moment and tell you how content i feel with life right now? 

no things aren't perfect. 

there is still a lot that i wish would happen, or things i could do. 

but i snuggled the most AMAZING little boy this evening, and i am currently wrapped up in my chair, sitting next to sam as he looks through sports, and i am overcome with 

gratitude. 

simple.gratitude.

it makes my heart swell, and a lump press it's way into my throat. 

and even though some things suck, and i wish some things would change. 

i am grateful for moments like this. 

life

life is pretty good right now. 

and, michelle and mom, 

i love your guts. :)

and if you're not my mother, or my michelle
leave a comment so i know you're reading. :)

merry christmas and happy new year

good riddance 2012. 

i won't really miss you. 

you aren't a year that i want to live through again. 

i am, however, thankful for a few things. 

my hubby has a job again

bubba is the highlight of my life

my business did good this year

but..

bring on 2013

happy new year.

December

i've been avoiding you

seriously. 

i haven't known what to write, what to portray, what to disclose. 

le sigh. 

but i am here. it's a week before christmas, and we are settling in to enjoy our last bit of the year. 

work is pretty much caught up. 

bubba is almost done with pre-school for the year.

we are excited for 2013 and what the possibilities are. 

let's start with the most exciting news so far. 

SAM GOT A JOB. 

that's right. 

he got a job again, and we are getting back into the routine of a schedule. 

i admit that after six months of not being employed it's hard letting him go back to work. 

i have to clean. 

i have to cook. 

i have to shop. 

(yes. sam did all of those while he was home. yes, i hit the jackpot in my marriage choice :)) 

but it's good. he's enjoying it, and we are enjoying the benefits of him working again. 

bubba is over 4.5 now, and i can't believe he will be 5 in just a few months.  he's the highlight of my world. he makes me laugh, smile, melt, etc. he has an imagination that will leave your head spinning. :) 

seriously. you don't need t.v., with what comes out of his mind, you will be endlessly entertained. 

i love it. 

i don't ever want it to change. 

in a way, i don't want him to know reality. 

his world is so much better. 

and it's protected by armor, so bad guys can't get us. 

who wouldn't want that? :) 

he's loving pre-school, and he's learned a lot the last little bit. 

i can't wait until we can get a sibling for him. 

he will be an amazing big brother. 

we are hanging in there and we are so thankful for everything that we have. 

we truly are blessed, and our hearts are full. 

the Lords answers prayers. 

He hears us. 

and even though we get frustrated that things aren't happening on OUR schedule. 

things somehow work out. 

and i am blessed. 

just look at those two faces above. 

how could i not be?! 

enjoy. 

hello

hello. 

i'm tara. 

and i feel like i've been living under a rock for the past few months. :) 

i have been working my butt off. 

my photography has become our main source of income for the time being, and i am pushing everything i can to make that work. 

i love it. 

i want to do this more than just "on the side" 

i want to make it work. 

for my husband, 

for me family, 

for me. 

and watch me. i will make it work. 

bubba started preschool. 

he loves it. 

i cried when i first sent him off. 

but then, i suppose all mom's do, right? 

or maybe i'm just weird. 

he comes home from school every day, and tells me what he is learning. 

i love watching his mind expand. 

love it. 

he has started reading the short books. 

you know, the ones that go: 

"mat" "mat sat" etc. 

i believe he has that first book memorized. 

he is my life, and i love watching him learn. 

we went to sea world in san diego back in the beginning of august. 

that and the beach are my happy place. 

bubba's favorite part was shame, and the dolphins. 

he didn't like getting soaked by the pilot whales. 

holy cow those things drenched us. 

and then we tasted salt the.rest.of.the.day. 

but anyway, he liked the acrobatic show as well. the whole time during that, he kept saying he wanted to do that stuff. 

gymnastics anyone?

we also had the chance to go to the san diego zoo, and the beach, and old town san diego, and the redwood forests, and the beach, and the cheese factory, and the beach. 

loved every minute of that vacation. 

ok, that's a lie. i didn't so much like the afternoon driving through the middle of california (100+ degree temperature) in a vehicle with no air conditioning. 

i'm pretty sure i complained most of that hour. 

first world problems people. 

we also got to spend a few days in st. george with my sister tanielle. 

we went to zion's national park, which was my first time going. 

that place is GORGEOUS. i definitely want to go back, 

and not forget my memory cards so i can actually get pictures...

we had the chance to spend a couple of days with my friend melissa in elko, nevada. where we stopped along the way and attempted family photos. :) 

for my birthday this year, sam surprised me with a trip up to park city. 

he planned a sitter, hotel, everything! 

we got to stroll down park city main street (mind you, everything was basically closed at this point, but it was still fun. :)) 

we went to the olympic park and did the zip lines, the alpine slide, and the adventure courses, and the drop. 

it was a blast. 

i am SO thankful for the traveling that we have been able to do this year! 

in a few weeks, i will be traveling to new york with a friend. 

i am very excited for this trip, and can't WAIT for it to get here! i love being able to take photos in new places! 

and hopefully i will be posting photos on here again. 

we listened to conference a couple of weeks ago. and can i tell you how much better i feel? my soul feels happier, my burdens seem lifted, my heart seems to sing a little more. i know that the Lord will take care of me and my little family. i know that He knows what we are supposed to be doing right now. 

i just have to learn to listen. 

one of the harder things for me to do. 

but i'm trying. :) 

i am currently waiting for hubby to finish a game so i can drag him off to watch a movie with me. 

yes.

at 12:30 in the morning. :) 

because that's how we roll. 

here

still here. 

don't worry. 

i'll try to get back into the blogging mode. 

there's a lot that has happened the last few months,

and i've been running. 

running from e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.

but my body/soul is tired. 

so i'm slowing down, 

and i'm pretty sure that everything is going to catch up to me. 

and engulf me. 

and i have to let it. 

but no worries. 

i'll be ok. 

i just have to face some ugly stuff. 

and then i'll be ok. 

my boys will help pull me through whatever catches up to me. 

one of the reasons i love them both so. 

they save me. 

and then i'll be able to come out the other side, 

stronger. 

head held tall. 

happier. 

more at peace. 

just you wait. 

:)