2 years ago today

Can you believe it's been two years?
I CAN'T!

I am sitting here readying through blog entries from 2 years ago. Two years ago, I was anxiously trying to FORCE myself to sleep. I was too excited, too nervous, to anxious to sleep.

We had spent all of Saturday driving. We drove from Logan to Portland. needless to say, that drive didn't go fast enough. :-) we got up there, and we got all situated in Michael and Mandy's house (they were out of town for the week, and graciously offered us their house) And awaited the next day. We made all our final arrangements with Crystal, we were to meet at the hospital at 7:30 the next morning.

I really don't think I slept.

The next day was a blur. I remember some things about it SO clearly. Watching Crystal as they started the c-section. Watching her smile at me. Watching them hold Bubba up, they let me go over to see him. Seeing his face. I will never forget that. They bundled him up, and I carried him back over to Crystal. Seeing her interaction with him those first few moments. Priceless. I don't think I will ever forget that. But other things just kind of blurred together.

We still thank Crystal every single day for that day, and everything she has done since. She is truly amazing. We thank her from the bottom of our hearts. Our family with her started 2 years ago. And we are SO lucky to call her family.

He still makes this face :-)

I am kind of torn to see Bubba turn 2. I love that he is growing up and learning new things, and I LOVE watching it! But I want him to stay little forever. You see, I don't know when we are going to decide to add to our family. We want to add, like yesterday. But that's not really going to happen. So where we aren't sure, we want to hold on to EVERY single moment of his childhood. He's growing up too fast. But I still can't believe that he is mine to snuggle, and love. I love him with everything I have possible. He is my sweet little boy, and I can't believe he's two.



Happy Birthday sweet baby.

WPPI

This last week, I was able to attend what is called WPPI (Wedding and Portrait Photogerphy International)

I.had.a.blast.

to simply put it, it was amazing to me

I met SO many wonderful people, enjoyed company of those that I already knew, and became So inspired!
I got to rub shoulders with some of the best of the best photographers out there

I learned a lot and I will be trying to implement that information into my business, and my life in general

tomorrow, I will hopefully be uploading pictures so I can create a time line of what happened

But thank you to EVERYONE that made my trip the trip it was. It was SO very worth it
:-)

Heartache

HEARTACHE

heart·ache \härt-āk\
Function: noun

anguish of mind : sorrow

have you ever wanted something SO bad
that is literally HURTS to not have it?

do you ever look at things, and
STARE
just to wish that something would happen?
thinking that if you look hard enough, or long enough,
that it will

or you pray that just maybe your faith was good enough this time

and time and time again, it doesn't

so you cry
you have your time
and you try again

only to have it fail over, and over
and over again

but you put a smile on your face
pretend it doesn't bother you
and move on with your life

only to be faced with the same thing again

and no matter how many times you tell yourself
"this time, I won't let it affect me"
it still does

Yeah, I have those days too.
:-(

Just so you know

I am holding a contest for my business! Check it out

http://www.winsorphotography.com/blog

Make sure that you enter! And if you can't enter, pass the word along to all your friends and family!

I look forward to doing it!

Random Nonsense

I don't really have a purpose of blogging tonight...other than I feel like I need to.

Sounds exciting huh.

So, let me apologize for anything in advance that might come out of my mouth tonight. :-)

Ever feel lost? Like you don't know where you are going? But you know you have to keep moving forward? That's kind of how I have felt today.

and trust me, I have MANY reasons to be happy.
I remind myself of them D.A.I.L.Y
(many times a day)

But sometimes you just wonder what's going on, and
what's the point

I am sure the weather attributes to a lot of this
also a sick kid who isn't letting me get much sleep


I do a lot of thinking
which I usually try not to do, because I don't like diving too far into this head of mine

but sometimes, you just have to

there are a lot of things I am going to work harder on.
and some things that I am really going to try and let go

no matter how painful it may be
no matter how many tears are shed
because that's what I want to do right now

Curl up and have a good cry



but know that for now, I am alive and surviving each day

and I have one CUTE little boy :-)

And my mood will pick up soon, don't you worry :-)

Potty Training?

I think I might officially be crazy.
Why?
We are trying to potty train.
YIKES!
He's growing too fast.
But I can't tell you how excited I will be once he is OUT of diapers!

He is currently standing here wearing nothing but Mickey Mouse underwear.
And I can't tell you how cute he looks. :-)
How grown up he looks. :-(
And since I put them on him, he has actually told me when he needs to go to the bathroom!
can it really be easier than I thought?
I am sure there are going to be LOTS of accidents.
And I am sure we are going to have a hard time.
But HEY
We've got to start somewhere. :-)

And why not start at the beginning

This weekend

This weekend I am staying with this wonderful lady.


She is my Great Grandmother. She is a funny lady. She went and had her hair done, and wouldn't let me forget that we were going to take her picture. So I had to make sure that I got those pictures in. I love this picture of the two of us. It's a good one to have. :-)
That and I LOVE the frost that shows up on the trees from the fog up here. And actually I think it is smog, but it puts this frost on the trees, and I love the frost.

Anyway. My grandparents are out of town, so I am up with Wendy and my mom and we are putting in a joint effort to watch my great grandma. It's going to be fun. :-)