relief

we accomplished something this last week that we have been DREAMING of doing for some time now. 

it all started about 5 years ago. 

i had some medical things come up which started us on our infertility journey.

i never thought i would be thankful for a cyst that put me in the hospital. 

but because of that LONG ambulance ride (from west yellowstone to rexburg idaho) 

a short emergency room stay, and an expensive CT scan

we gained some debt. 

we got our first credit card. 

we were slowly paying this off the best we could. 

then we started building my business. 

more debt.

then we adopted (which, i wouldn't trade for the world and would do again :))

more debt. 

then we moved, and things didn't go quite as planned. moving expenses, job not doing very well, etc. 

more debt. 

since then, we have been trying to pay off what we can. anything extra we would get, would pay extra on a card. but with interest and the vicious cycle that is debt, it was miserable. we felt stuck. 

it was tying us down. 

we needed freedom. 

we filed taxes this year, and with some new tax laws, we were able to get a pretty large refund. 

guess where it went? 

well, if you can't guess, i will now tell you that the balance of our short term debt is: 

ZERO

that's right. we completely paid off our credit cards/medical expenses/everything!! 

the only things we have left, are our car (which we are almost done with) and student loans which we start on in may. 

HaPpY dAnCe!!

we are seriously ecstatic about it!!! 

we feel SO free!! 

and we vow to avoid short term debt as MUCH as possible!! 

but i am proof that is CAN be done!!!

we did it. 

and now we will be pinching our pennies still the same to see how high we can get our savings. :) 

LOVE the idea of finally being able to build that! 

so we decided to make it a game and see how high we can get it. :) 

i can't wait. 

and there is something else exciting that we are doing, but i am going to wait a little bit before i post about it. 

just know that it is REALLY exciting. :)

and you won't want to miss it. :)

3 years new

wow. what to say. 

so many emotions, and thoughts go through my head on this day. 

you've all probably read the story, as i think i post it every year. but oh well. 

i like posting it. :) 

sunday, march 23, 2008

on this day 3 years ago, we were in oregon at a hospital. we were told to me at 7:00am. so we met crystal at the hospital, and spent time with her in her room before the surgery. they finally came in about 10:00am, handed me my scrubs to dress up in, and took us back. i waited for the anesthesiologist to finish their work, and then they took me in. i sat by crystals head (i was extremely nervous, but probably not as nervous as crystal!) the anesthesiologist told me i could look, and when i did, there he was. 

and he was perfect.

they took him over to get his airway cleaned out and i was allowed to follow him. so i did. they did a quick clean up, and then wrapped him in a blanket and handed him over to me. 

i cried. 

i took him back over to crystal and kept him as close to her as i could while they started sewing her back up. 

then we went to the nursery, where they weighed him (7lbs 15 oz) and measured him (20in long) then they gave him a bath. he liked the water (STILL does, and baths are his FAVORITE thing!) and loved being in it, but didn't like being OUT of it!! 

i was lovestruck. i couldn't look at him without smiling. 

i couldn't think of him without smiling. before the bath, i went and grabbed my camera, which was with sam. i hugged sam and just cried ("he's here!") and then ran back in to be with him. (still only 1 person could be back there). here are some of the pictures taken during and after his bath.

then they brought crystal in, and watching her with him, melted my heart even more. how were we so lucky? this amazing woman wanted to place this perfect child with us. our family doubled that day. our families were connected. it was perfect. and i still love watching the two of them together. it still amazes me. :) 

after we got crystal settled into her room, i went out and got sam, and the other visitors that were there. and they came back. sam looked like a child on christmas. he walked into the room, eyes wide, HUGE smile on his face. he kind of stayed back a little bit trying to catch peaks of him. :) then crystal looked at him and said "you want to hold him daddy?" and sam melted, picked him up, and was smitten. :)

here is our first picture together. it was sunday afternoon, and it covers SO many emotions that i was feeling that day. one of my favorite pictures EVER.

words can not express what i felt that day. and what i still feel. this morning when he came crawling into my bed, and snuggles into me. my heart fills up. 

he looks up at me and asks if i'm ok. i tell him i am and that i am so happy he is with me. he looks at me, smiles and says 

"i love you momma" 

and that is why we fought for so many years. 

that's why we never gave up.

that's why we kept praying for a miracle, and he led us to crystal. 

crystal, i tell you this all the time, but THANK YOU. from the very bottom of our hearts. 

we love you, and are SO thankful you are part of our family. 

and to my little man. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the sweetest little man i've ever met. 

i love you to eternity and back

and all your "i luw you momma"'s and hugs and kisses were WELL worth the wait.

hope you enjoy your day!! 

LOVE YOU!!!!

confessions, confessions

can you believe it's friday already? 

this means summer is getting closer, because the weeks are going by faster, which means summer will pass faster. 

winter just seems to go by sooo sl.ow.ly. 

anyway, back to the task at hand.

~i actually had to ask bubba what i should put for my confessions this week. he looked at me and said "i don't know, it's ok mom" such reassurance. 

~we bought an ironing board yesterday. this is the first ironing board we have owned since being married. this means that i am actually going to have to iron now. maybe i should have postponed this a little longer... 

~i planted a garden yesterday. muahaha. ok, so it's a garden in pots, but it's still going to produce! i can't wait until we have an actual yard where we can put in an actual garden! the things that we have planted are: strawberries, peas, green beans, spinach, cilantro, and basil. i am very excited to watch them grow, and bubba even points to them and yells "growing!!!" i think he's excited too. :) 

~surprise. i'm addicted to facebook. at least i'm not in denial anymore. sad thing is, as my business gets busier, the more time i will spend on there, since a lot of my clients come from facebook! 

~i am becoming addicted to crafting. i am forming a list of things that i want to make! so far i have: pants for bubba, bedding for my bedroom, a headboard, frames, bean bags chairs, drapes, skirts, slipcovers, etc. 

i think i am getting in over my head. :) if anyone wants to make some of these with me, please let me know. it's so much easier with other people!! 

~i go through phases where i like being a homebody, and staying in and just hanging out at home. and other times i love getting out and seeing people and things. i think i am in a homebody stage right now. 

yee haw! enjoy your weekend!!!

Workout?

i have to be honest.

i'm not the biggest an of working out. 

i mean, i like the feeling of accomplishing something, and when my muscles feel like they've been worked. i'm all for that.

what i'm NOT for

the absolute PAIN i feel after working out for the first time in a long time. 

i know, i know, i can hear you saying it. 

"maybe that's why you are supposed to work out more regularly" 

i KNOW. 

but can you bear with me for a second? 

i.can't.move.my.legs. 

like seriously. 

i am stuck laying down, it takes me FOR-EVER to actually walk to the bathroom. 

 i am pretty sure i even asked sam to carry me up the stairs last night. 

i can't remember, because i was too focused on the delirious pain i was feeling.

really, every muscle hurts from my butt down to my toes.

so what did i do to bring this upon myself? 

i did a cardio workout that was made from the trainers on the biggest loser. 

and then i went running. 

lots of lunges and squats to NOT go very well with running. 

i guess it just means that i need to do it more often. 

hopefully. 

but this isn't the "feel good burn" that you get from working out. 

this is pain. 

ugh. 

oh i'm sorry, you don't like hearing me complain? 

well...my blog, my rules. 

deal with it. 

and why in the WORLD is my "f" key SO hard to push?!

it's a good thing that today is st. patrick's day, i can get away with saying stuff like 

top o the mornin to ya. :)

enjoy your day.

march 2008

march 

i love march. 

it is such a wonderful month of new beginnings (notice the flowers starting to bloom?)

and it is a month that 3 years ago changed our lives.

as i was texting with crystal this afternoon, it was pointed out that we've known each other for 3 years now. 

that's right, 3 years ago on march 7, 2008 we met crystal at lds family services in oregon. 

i remember being REALLY nervous. 

in fact, i think i remember my thoughts being 

"what if she doesn't like us?" 

the caseworker came in, and then brought crystal in. we smiled. we talked for a few minutes, we gave her a gift, we took some pictures (i KNOW i have them around here somewhere..) and then we went to lunch. :) 

we went to olive garden, and i remember asking as many questions that could come to my head. 

sam was babbling. which meant he was actually nervous as well. 

even if he denies it. :) 

we took her home, and then went back to where we were staying while there. 

and we couldn't stop smiling. we were ecstatic. i think i cried. 

even if i deny it.

the next day would be awesome. 

march 8 came and we had been invited to a baby shower. 

being thrown for crystal and us. 

we were floored. we felt welcome, we felt accepted, we felt like family. 

and everyone who came to that shower, showed such an immense amount of love to us and crystal. 

crystal got pampering, memory gifts. 

that was a fast trip to oregon. i believe that we took a trip (or 2) to the beach. sam had never been to an oregon beach. :) 

we came home and we got ready. we continued emails and texts with crystal. she had a couple of times where she went to the hospital to be monitored. but everything was ok, and we went up at the scheduled time to see bubba born. :) 

but that will be a different post for a different time. 

crystal. 

what can we say. 

we absolutely LOVE you. 

we think about you all.year.long, but especially during this month. 

the wonderful month where we met you, and you changed our world. 

the month that you made our dreams come true. 

we still can't thank you enough. 

love you tons!! 

Friday Confessions

~i have been / and  still am very self conscious. i've always worried about what other people thought about me. and whenever i would get a negative feedback/comment/etc, it always bothered me. well, i have decided to change this. i'm not going to let them get to me, and i'm going to separate myself from anyone who makes me feel this way. end of story.

~this week has been amazing. :) my brother is home from iraq, and i couldn't be happier. 

~seriously, every day i get a new appreciation for my parents. i don't know how they survived with 6 of us. parenting is HARD, but definitely worth everything. :) 

~i fell in love with leather. especially leather albums. i pulled my album out of the shipping box, and just sat and smelled it. holy cow. amazing. i think i could have leather everywhere. 

~i'm in love with the warmer weather we are getting. almost 70 yesterday?! are you kidding?! 

~NOT looking forward to losing an hour of sleep this weekend. especially since church starts at 9:00am. 

~i really am not comfortable with buzz lightyear (thank you tana!!) watching me go to the bathroom. but whenever i go in, bubba chases me with buzz and says "buzz watch you potty!!" umm.....don't think he's going to learn anything. :) 

alright, i hope you have an AMAZING weekend. :) 

and please keep those affected by the japan earthquake/tsunami in your prayers. they need all the prayers we can send.

Creative Imagination

sometimes i wish i had a child's imagination and creativity. seriously, if i did, i think i could rock it.
maybe i will have to work on that.
the pictures scattered through today's post are from valentine's day, when it was somewhat warm. :)

yesterday, while bubba was eating dinner, he made it about half way through, and his spiderman vitamin was sitting on his plate. half way through, he said his tummy hurt and he needed to eat his vitamin. ok, sure, go ahead. he ate it and then proceeded to finish his food. towards the end, he saw a treat sitting on the table, and said his tummy hurt again, and he needed to eat the treat to make his tummy "happy".
bahaha. silly boy. nice try.
finish your dinner first.

then while he was playing yesterday, he had a plane and was playing with it on the fridge.
well it somehow fell, injuring his foot. he cried for a second, and then brought the plane over to his foot. the plane proceeded to tell his toes sorry and kiss them better. then the roles reversed and he was bubba again, whimpering. switch back to the plane, "it ok, sorry!" and it reverts back to bubba whimpering a little more.

my son just had a full conversation with himself. :)

i absolutely LOVE watching his creativity, and imagination come out. it is so fun to watch!

and apparently there is a lion that lives in our house, but he goes and stays at grandma and grandpa's house when he doesn't want to be scared. :)

i wouldn't trade this little guy for ANYTHING. but it seriously amazes me how he is learning, and picking things up. he's like a sponge. he knows a lot of his letters, and is learning to count a little bit. he can dress himself, (and UNdress himself) and has us wrapped completely around his fingers. he knows how to get his way, and commonly does ("i sleep with you? please momma?"). oh to be a kid again.

oh, and because i have it, here is a picture of the main love of my life. i loved the lighting in this picture. he's so handsome.
and he takes my heart with him wherever he goes. :)

enjoy this random posting. :)

Blessed

i don't know what's prompting this, but i feel like i need to "journal" this (since this is like my journal..)

anyway

i.feel.so.blessed. 

i am sitting here snuggling my little munchkin watching a movie, after spending the last 3 hours snuggling him while he slept and after he woke up where we just sat and talked/giggled/sang/played games in bed. 

so even though i sit here (yes, still in my pajamas) doing just about nothing, i feel so blessed. 

my heart feels so full right now. 

i have an amazing life right now. 

 

we have bubba. he's our miracle, and i thank God for him EVERY.DAY. 

my hubby has a good job right now that seems to fit in perfectly with our family.  and that is such a blessing. it's finally using his degree that he graduated with almost 3 years ago.

we are both doing our callings for church, and having FUN with it. 

(i absolutely love my sunbeams)

our apartment is becoming decluttered, and clean.

i am SO thankful that i can stay at home with bubba.

my photography is doing well, and has become more fun. not a stress. and i couldn't be happier with how it's going. 

i am finally learning how to prioritize the things in my life. 

i'm cooking more. 

we have an AMAZING ward and neighborhood. seriously, i have never felt so comfortable in a ward in 9 years of marriage. they care about each other. we get together with other couples that are awesome, and it's fun! 

we are healthy (at the time being. :) still trying to completely kick this flu, but feel TONS better than i did.

bubba is healthy and growing. 

crystal (bubba's birthmother) is going to be coming to spend a few days with us. :) pure excitement. :) 

like i said. 

i.am.blessed. 

i feel SO thankful for everything right now. 

sure there are still some stresses, and worries, but right now my gratitude far outweighs them. 

 

life is good.

and if you're reading this. i am thankful for YOU. 

much love.

Friday Confessions

~i have no motivation whatsoever right now. just since monday, we've had 3 pajama days. that's right, we got ready only 2 days this week. still trying to kick this flu, and get back to normal. blech. 

~i really like the movie "megamind". it seriously makes me laugh. and we've watched you over and over and over again this week. 

~my house is a mess, and i really don't care at this moment. meh. 

~i really want to do something creative. 

~i want to go through my place and throw away anything that isn't being used. just get rid of everything and simplify. 

~i miss t.v. we haven't had it since we moved out of my parents house, and i miss it. sometimes i just want to curl up on the couch and watch some t.v. to take my mind off of everything else that is occupying it. 

maybe that's why i can't sleep some nights. 

alright people. have a great weekend. love ya all.

healthy boy

i thought that i would let you in on our adventures the other day. 

our insurance was changing, and so i wanted to get bubba's doctor's/dentist appointments done so i wouldn't have to worry about them. :) 

brilliant idea no?

well, first came the dentist. 

bubba was so excited to go, because the dentist office looked like you were in an aquarium, which was admittedly pretty awesome. he couldn't wait for them to call his name to go back. 

we finally go back, and he goes and climbs into the chair that they told him to. 

they were doing bite-wing x-rays. 

yeeeeeeah. 

talk about screaming, crying, traumatizing experience.

the bitewing things made him gag, and he didn't like having them in his mouth. 

after they finally got the xrays done, he climbed off of the chair and tried to run out of the office. i then had to get him and try and sweet talk him into sitting in the actual dentist chair. 

finally was able to get him to sit there (with kaleigh's help) but he was leary about letting anyone near his mouth again. 

luckily, this dentist was AMAZING. 

seriously. he was able to get bubba to relax, and let him "squeak" his teeth as he scraped them, and put "muscles" on his teeth. at the end, he gave him some fake money to buy a toy from the toy machine. 

turned out pretty good, and his teeth are GREAT! with the x-rays we even got to see his permenant teeth coming in beneath his baby teeth. bubba thought that was pretty cool. :) 

next came the doctor. 

bubba was going around the house saying "i wanna go see doctor!" 

so we went and got right in (thankfully) bubba climbed onto the scale, and stood there, and then stood while they measured him. 

i'm not sure if i like the fact that he doesn't need me to hold him for that anymore. :( 

but he weighed in at 35 pounds, and was 38.5 inches tall. the doctor said he is on track to being 6'2'' or taller. 

basketball anyone? :) 

bubba let him check in his ears, and his eyes, and his mouth. all with me just sitting there. 

really...not used to that. 

and one of the things that he recommended was preschool, or playgroups. 

you see, he is used to adult interaction. he doesn't have any "friends" that he knows names of and plays with. so we need to get him more interactions with kids. 

sooo....ANY help there would be MUCH appreciated!! 

he is potty trained (doctor said boys are more commonly potty trained around 3.5 years old) which is awesome, and he is starting to talk more. within the last few weeks his annunciation and talking has gotten a LOT better. he can dress himself, and even put his shoes and socks on. 

overall, they said he looked completely healthy. 

i still can't believe he's growing up. 

in just a couple of weeks, he will be 3. 

wow. where does the time go. 

anyway, so those were our adventures from monday. 

enjoy, and ANY advice on preschool/playgroups will be appreciated!! thanks :)