2010 in a Nutshell.

as the year draws to a close, we can't help but look back and reflect on everything that's happened this year. 

some good, some bad, and some ugly. 

seriously. 

let's see if i can recap this year. 

sam went through 3 jobs this year to finally end up in one that is doing great for us!

we are counting our blessings that he has a job that is providing us health insurance, an income that is supporting us right now, and other benefits that we for sure want to take advantage of. it is quite a commute, which we are looking at changing next year. 

in may we moved out of my parents basement (yay! no offense to the parents, but you know what we mean :)) and into our own little apartment. we are dreaming of the day when we can get a house of our own, but for now, we are at least our own little family. (even though we still probably see my family just as much :)) we haven't been on our own since bubba was born, and we took a leap of faith and made it happen. luckily, things worked out for the better. :)

bubba turned 2 this year, and acts it. :) he knows how to push buttons, and be cute whenever we needs to :) 

seeing him get SO excited over things has been such a highlight for us, and we count our blessings every day that he is with us :) 

in july, sam and i celebrated 8 years of marriage. can you believe it's been 8 years? 

we can't. :) 

my business has been even better this year, and really helped us along! my clients have all been amazing, and my business has taken me far beyond what i expected it to. i was fortunate and so blessed to be able to go to new york for a week with my good friend, seattle for a week with my mom, and oregon to photograph bubba's birthmother's wedding. seriously amazing clients. :) i am SO fortunate to be able to be doing what i love to do. 

 

Crystal and Joey at their wedding :)

we took a family trip to california when sam's grandmother passed away. we enjoyed spending time with family during that time. it was an amazing trip. 

we've been lucky to not have to face some of the trials that a lot of people have faced, and know that the Lord is watching out for us. 

i received a calling in the primary at our church, and love teaching the 3-5 year olds. they are such amazing kids, and i love that time i have with them. 

we are so excited for 2011 and what is has in store or us. we can't wait to grow, and learn, and try to come closer to God as we do so. 

we are working on making our goals for the new year, and hope we can exceed our expectations of ourselves. :) 

we'll let you know in a year. :) 

HaPpY nEw YeAr to all our friends and family. :)) we love you tons. 

 thank you for helping us make 2010 a good year :)

Merry Christmas

no guarantee on when i'm going to write again, so i thought that i would at least let the few of you who read my blog know that i am wishing you the very best holiday season possible. 

may your holidays be bright, and your wishes granted. 

and let's not forget the reason for the season. 

let's not forget the reason that the stars seem to shine a little brighter during this season

the person who came to this earth to live and die for US.

HE is the reason we celebrate Christmas.

Jesus Christ gave the ultimate gift.

for us to live with him again. 

and as we celebrate his birth, let's not forget.

Merry Christmas to all our friends and family. :)

End of the year?!

seriously, the end of 2010?

already?! 

i know you are probably getting sick of me claiming that the year has gone by too fast. 

so i will do my best to reign it in. :) 

i thought i would post an update, so that whenever someone reads my blog (the 1 or 2 of you out there) it isn't so depressing. 

we are getting ready for christmas over here. 

our tree is up, the lights are up and bubba would love to have them lit ALL day long. 

stockings are up along our banister. 

the smell of christmas treats fills our house constantly. 

and we don't really spend a lot of time at home. haha

we go over to my parents almost every day and help them get ready for the holidays. 

i'm sure they are probably sick of us. :) 

bubba is absolutely a delight to watch this Christmas season. he gets SO excited over some of the things. he calls everything christmas (including santa) and i think we have him a little confused on some things. 

for instance, he knows that it is Jesus' birthday, but then confuses santa for Jesus. but he calls santa "ho, ho ho" or more like "oh oh oh" 

he loves looking at the christmas lights, and we have driven through layton's lights probably more times than i can count! 

he's done really well with our tree, and has only tried to take the ornaments off a couple of times when we aren't looking. :) 

he loves the snow, although we really don't have any right now.

and if you take him down a toy isle at the store, you are in for a real treat. :) 

he dances around from toy to toy yelling "look at that!" or squealing. 

he is in love with spiderman

seriously. 

we have our nativity set up, and bubba loves looking it out and pointing out the sheep, and baby Jesus. :)

and i totally just got distracted while writing this, and left the computer for 30 minutes. wow. sorry bout that. 

anyway, we are excited for christmas this year, and the excitement that we get to watch from bubba. 

it really is addicting. :)

breathing

have you checked the calendar today? 

did you see that it's december 1st? 

did you cry a little, and then climb back into bed wishing that it was, say..august again? 

i did. 

i don't like that this year has gone by WAY too fast! i don't like the fact that my little will be 3 in just a few short months. i don't like that christmas is in 25 days, and i really have nothing for it. 

and i really don't like the cold. 

and i realize that really, none of those statements really made any sense together. but oh well. 

i know that a lot of you don't know what the next part of this post means. and i might have it in me to expound on it at a future date. but right now, i can only post what i'm feeling. 

it's been a week. 

i'm finding myself having to force myself to keep going. 

a week ago, my world started to slip between my fingers yet again. 

i bawled.  i was mad. i prayed.

i pasted a smile to my face, and tried to live.

it was thanksgiving after all. it was supposed to be a happy time. but while everyone else was laughing and telling stories and jokes,

i wanted to crawl into bed, and stay there. 

i spent many minutes staring out the car window as we drove from place to place.

i'm sure, in fact i KNOW that sam was worried.

i pretended that life was great when around people.

but he saw the ugly side of me. 

the side that showed hurt, and pain, and tears. 

and he was there for me.

i was falling apart inside. 

it was a rough few days.

really.rough.

and here i am about a week later. 

still trying to breathe. 

still fighting off the tears that come daily.

life isn't so much falling apart anymore

i admit, i still want to stay in bed most days. 

but stick with just staying in my pajamas.

i pray. 

 a.lot. 

there has to be a reason. 

even if i don't know it yet. 

and i will get through it. 

life will go on. 

and i'll be ok. 

but in the meantime, i will focus on 2 major things in my life

my little family 

and breathing.

Snow Days

it snowed yesterday

all.day

bubba was in heaven. 

you see, bubba LOVES the snow

he could play outside in the snow all day if he could. and if you ask him if he's cold, he will look straight into your eyes, with his pink little face and say very resoundingly, 

NO! 

he stares out the window saying over and over again

"snowball!"

he throws the snow, kicks the snow, eats the snow, and falls down in the snow. 

seriously, he's like the complete opposite of me when it comes to snow. :) 

so yesterday, when it snowed all day, we tried to prevent bubba from playing in it while we went to church, and then finally when we came home, we let him dress up to go out back and play in it. 

he. was. in. heaven. 

here are some pictures of him out enjoying the snow. :) 

and can i say how much i love the holidays for the lights? such amazing bokeh!! 

 our christmas tree. i love it. :)

enjoy! :)

is there another?

it's late

and i'm thinking again

usually not a good combination, but ah well, it's keeping me awake.

you know, one of those can't sleep until you can think something through nights. 

i've been wondering lately if there is another little to join our family. 

i wonder if they are out there yet, watching us, and just waiting for the right moment to come into our little family. 

is there another birthmother out there, that would see us fit to raise their precious child? 

we already know that we are going to have to fight to get everything turned in for another adoption.

we already know that

and we are working on it with everything that we have in us. 

but what if this is it? 

what if, there are just going to be the three of us?

i can't believe it. 

i KNOW there is another one out there. 

at least one. 

so, if i know that there is another one, why do i have these feelings of doubt? why do the little "this is it" things keep coming into my head? 

why is it so dang hard to get to that point that we can just push through?

i am trying to be patient. i really am.

but it's hard to be patient when everything depends on someone else.

hopefully things will work out quickly, so we can get started with it again. 

anywho...thanks for letting me voice my thoughts. 

let's hope i can go to bed now. 

if not, i will be sitting here, 

wishing, 

hoping, 

and praying 

that there is another one out there.

haircuts and bumps

as you could probably tell in the last photo i put up of bubba, he needed a haircut

bad

but like a good mother, i refused to cut his hair. 

why, you ask? 

because it was long enough that i could run my fingers through it

i didn't really have to do it, because well..it would do whatever it wanted to anyway, and it still looked cute (at least to me :)) 

but i have a persistent husband.

who said we NEEDED to cut bubba's hair. 

fine. i gave in. 

and i think i cried. as long pieces of hair fell from his head, and then as bubba saw them and tried to put them back on his head. he wiggled. a lot. 

sam cut it, and although it looks ok, you could tell there was a little difficulty. and this is why i like to go somewhere to have it done. 

it is shorter than i would like, by a long shot, but oh well. 

hair grows back, right? 

and yesterday, while he was playing around at my parents house, he got a little too rambunctious, and fell into a corner of a wall. 

luckily it didn't split his head open, but i think if he had hit it any harder it would have. 

he now has a line of a bruise running down his forehead. luckily the bump is mostly gone, and he doesn't act like it is bothering him. 

so he wanted more pictures done today. how can i turn him down? here are a couple... 

see....still cute. :)

Lazy Autumn Days..

yes, i changed it.

i believe it usually goes lazy summer days..but oh well

it's my blog and i can put what i want. 

this is what is on our agenda today

~watch movies

~update my blog (check!) 

~laundry (because bubba is on his last pair of underwear, and we have to be safe..)

~edit some photos

~burn more cd's for clients 

~watch more movies

~eat soup

~eat oreos

~stay in pajamas (or like bubba, just underwear, but unfortunately i'm not THAT carefree..)

~dishes, but they might wait

~and if i get to it, i might decided to finally make those curtains that have been waiting...

sounds like a busy day huh. i'm not sure if i'm going to be able to get it all done :) 

i guess only time will tell.

oh, and want to hear something exciting? i just won a $100 gift card to an online design shop. i am SO excited that i had to share it with you

just had to. 

let's see, i need to post some about adoption as well...

oh!! 

you need to go to THIS website and vote for your favorite adoption month button. :) 

alrighty peeps, i'm off to go crank out my to-do list :) 

enjoy your wednesday!

...hmmmm...

i am at a loss as to what to write.. 

let's see

sam has finished training at his work, and is now out on the floor, or whatever he does 

bubba is growing up way to fast, as proof of this picture..(which by the way i absolutely LOVE)

and our adoption process is on hold.

yet again

*sigh*

i'm so tired of depending on other people for things to go through

i am tried of being taken advantage of

and i'm tired of being led on, only to be dropped again.

hopefully we can continue our adoption paperwork as soon as possible. but we just don't know right now.

what doesn't kill us will make us stronger right?

let's hope so, 

because i feel pretty weak right now

Adoption Walk

for national adoption month, there is going to be an adoption walk! where you can go and walk with others that have had adoption bless their lives. 

we are hoping to be there. if any of you know us, we are not morning people (yes, i have made sam succumb to my sleeping in ways :)) so to get up and ready and into salt lake by 9:30 might be kind of tough, but we are going to try!  

 

the adoption walk is happening THIS saturday at 9:30 am at liberty park in salt lake city.

they are going to be having a bunch of things going on, such as food, prizes, balloons and lots of fun! so make sure you come and walk in celebration of someone you know and love who has been touched by adoption. 

the theme every year is 'orange you glad for adoption'...and prizes will be given for those that are wearing the most orange. so make sure that you take part in the fun and dress accordingly :)

come join in the fun, and try to pass the word along!! 

it will be fun :)

National Adoption Month

i attempted to do this last year. 

i didn't do so well. 

so we are going to try and do it this year. 

my goal was to do a post EVERY day about adoption.
SOME form of adoption (even it was just to post a picture of bubba :-))

yeah...not so much

and i would try to do the same thing this year, but let's face it. 

i know i can't do it. haha.

you've got to know your limits right?

SO

let's come up with a new plan, shall we? my goal is to post on this blog 10 times this month about adoption. 

i should be able to accomplish this right? 

right. 

or at least, that's what i will tell myself. :) 

so, let me know, what does adoption mean to you? what questions do you have about adoption? i feel like i am pretty open about our adoption, and am willing to answer pretty much everything out there. so, feel free to ask away :) 

i will start by telling you what adoption means to me: 

AdOpTiOn: 

means that i don't have to sit alone at home while my hubby works. 

it means that i have a full time job working 24/7. (i would like to see that overtime please :)) 

means that when a little boy gets an owie, i'm the one he runs to to make it better 

it means that i get to make those better, and make him smile. 

it means that my heart melts multiple times a day because of a "tank you mommy", or a "luuuv you mommy"

its means waking up at night (sometimes multiple times) to check on a little boy when he's sick. 

adoption means i have an even larger family than most, we gained a lot of sisters, aunts, uncles, etc. 

it means that disney movies are our movies of choice. 

it means e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.

it means that someone, somewhere saw me fit to be a mother, and gave me the absolute best gift in the world. 

it means i'm a mother. 

and i wouldn't change it for anything. 

p.s. now it's your turn: what does it mean to you? what questions do you have? feel free to email any questions to winsorphoto@gmail.com if you want to ask anonymously. :) help me advocate adoption :)

Family

fam·i·ly
[fam-uh-lee, fam-lee] noun

1. a basic social unit consisting of parents and their children, considered as a group, whether dwelling together or not

2. any group of persons closely related by blood, as parents, children, uncles, aunts, and cousins

what does family mean to you?

have you ever felt "left out" from your family? i mean, understandably it happens sometimes. 

say everyone goes to see a movie, and no one thinks to call and invite you. 

or they plan get togethers (i.e. birthday parties, summer picnics, holidays, etc) without ever mentioning it to you.

understandable that it just happens sometime, right? 

but what if it happens more often than not? 

and no one cares? 

so, i bring you back to my original question. 

what does FAMILY mean to you? 

now, let me verify by saying that my direct family is amazing. :) i have sisters that will call me when they are having a bad day, and brothers who will text me randomly just to tell me that they love me. they call and invite me to go shopping with them, because i might be bored. 

see, what did i say. 

amazing. 

but i have to admit that the SECOND part of this definition is where i struggle. 

you know, the part of aunts, cousins, grandparents, etc. 

that e.x.t.e.n.d.e.d. family

i have one side of my family who i get along great with, but still feel excluded. (as in, "oh, so and so had a birthday, and you guys threw them a party? and we didn't know!? oh, ok"

another side of my family where i feel like i know just a few anymore.  and don't really hear from any of them.

granted, it happens as you all grow up and get older, and have your own kids and your individual families take place and just get too big. 

i get that 

i have an aunt that i could go to with anything, and wouldn't think twice about it. 

i have a sister and brother in law that i think the WORLD of

i have sisters that i would rather face death than to see any of them hurt. 

i have a mother and father who love me and care for me. 

i have a husband who loves me more than i deserve. 

i have a son who is the center of my world right now.

i know that i have not been the best building up my family relationships with my husbands family. and i want that to change. i want to be a part of their lives. i want them to be a part of ours.

so. what does family mean to you?

i think about what i want from my family 20 years down the road. 

i want to still be getting along and talking to ALL of my siblings. being able to call them at ANY time just to "chat"

i want my mom and dad to be there for everything possible. 

i want to be the best aunt to ALL of my nieces and nephews (no matter how many, and even if I don't like the spouse ;)) 

i hope i can look past any differences i have with anyone in my family, and still love them. 

no.matter.what.

i hope i can give my family the benefit of the doubt, and know that they will NEVER purposefully hurt me.

i hope that my kids, nieces, and nephews will never feel left out or less "liked" by me or any of my siblings.

i hope that my parents never side with any of us, and will treat us all the same. 

i hope that we can get together for thanksgiving meals and not be "separated" into different rooms. 

i hope that we can take a large family vacation somewhere, where no one feels left out, like they don't fit in, or that they aren't wanted there. 

cause that isn't really what a family is. 

now, i know that with families, come quarrels. 

trust.me. 

my sister and i had quite a few girl fights growing up. :) 

but i could never DREAM of hurting her intentionally, and i hope she knows that. 

or any of my siblings. 

i know there are still disagreements, and different views, and just times that we plain won't get along. 

but i hope that as a family we can look past the differences, the disagreements, and not judge each other. 

and just be a family. 

a family, is patience, acceptance, and love.

no.matter.what.

-me

I Had a Dream

I was a little girl alone in my little world who dreamed of a little home for me.
I played pretend between the trees, and fed my houseguests bark and leaves, and laughed in my pretty bed of green.

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest swing.
I had a dream.

Long walks in the dark through woods grown behind the park, I asked God who I'm supposed to be.

The stars smiled down on me, God answered in silent reverie. I said a prayer and fell asleep.

I had a dream

That I could fly from the highest tree.

I had a dream.

Now I'm old and feeling grey. I don't know what's left to say about this life I'm willing to leave.

I lived it full and I lived it well, there's many tales I've lived to tell. I'm ready now, I'm ready now, I'm ready now to fly from the highest wing.

I had a dream

Some videos

so, i believe that i finally figured out how to add some videos. 

so here are some of bubba for your enjoyment. :-)

he was c.r.a.z.y. this night! 

enjoy :-)

fun weekends

a couple of saturday's ago, we took a small road trip. 

i had a couple of photoshoots from springville to salt lake with a few hours to kill in the meantime. 

and might i add in here, i have an absolutely WONDERFUL husband? 

why? because he drives me places on weekends. and he sits in the car with a sleeping child for over an hour while i do my photoshoot, and he puts up with my crazy "while we are here.." requests. see, you wish he was yours. but too bad, i already have him claimed for forever. 

anyway, back to what we were doing. i finished the first photoshoot in springville. we had 3 hours to get up to salt lake. i have this project going on with temples, and needed to get pictures of the provo temple, and the mt. timpanogos temple. so we ventured out and explored. :-)

first up was the provo temple

bubba really liked the water fountain in the front of the provo temple

in the above picture, he's pointing to the temple saying "go to temple!"

and he didn't want to leave when we were heading to the car.

next up was the mt. timpanogos temple. this is my FAVORITE temple. this is the one that sam and i were sealed in when we were married, and also the one where we had bubba sealed to us. forever holds a place in my heart.

we had a lot of fun! i will be posting the link where you can purchase prints of the temples that i have artfully made soon :-)

oh, and one just to be funny. :) we laughed for a quite a while over this one :-)

enjoy :-)

-me

how do people do it?

seriously. 

how do people do it? 

i guess i better explain what i am questioning.. 

i am a wife, a daughter, a sister, a mother, a photographer, a cleaner, a cook, an entertainer, a teacher, an owie kisser, a sad attempt at being domestic (no really, you should see the veil i just tried to make..), and a rememberer of everything others forget. (i SWEAR i told my hubby that 5 times..)

and some days, i just feel over-whelmed. 

so i ask again: 

how do people do it? 

how do people find balance in their lives?

i feel like i have to many things that require my full attention. 

obviously, being a mother and wife comes first. i would drop everything in a split second if my son needed me. 

but i feel like if i give that my 100% attention, then all the other areas lack, and i let people down. 

maybe that's what it all boils down to.

i'm AFRAID to let people down. 

i'm afraid that people will think less of me because it took me an extra day to get their pictures done, or that i didn't get the dishes done in time, or that i missed a party for a friend because my little needed just one more snuggle. 

why am i afraid to let people down? 

i.have.no.clue. 

but, now that i know why i am feeling like this (thank you blogging world for letting me get my thoughts down), i will find out that i can balance things, i will make it work, i will be able to do it. 

because i don't want to let you down.

Sickies

i really dislike being sick. 

REALLY. dislike.

as in, i would kick sickness in the face 

that is..if it had a face. but where i am the one sick, i really don't want to be kicking myself in the face. 

cause that would hurt. like, a lot. 

anyway. about a week before i headed out to new york, i had a cold. a very basic cold, stuffy nose, headache, and just bleh feeling. it went away luckily, before i headed to new york. then sam got sick. and was out for the count. then bubba got sick. bad cough, sore throat, etc. 

i figured since i had already been sick, i wouldn't get it. 

WRONG. 

i am currently down, with the feeling that a ton of bricks is laying on my chest. my throat is sore, my head hurts, my body aches, and i am still in my pajamas at 6:30 at night. 

(although i could say that i was just getting ready for an early bed, couldn't i..hmm..) 

i can't talk, as my voice is barely there and what i can get out sounds awful. (yes, just ask the client that called me earlier today. poor soul. but i can't just ignore them!) hopefully this will be gone in a day or two, and i will be back to my chipper self. 

in the meantime, anyone is welcome to bring us dinner. :-) 

oh, and i wanted to show you the absolute most precious view in the whole world.

see..completely precious. I love this little face.

where were you

September 11, 2001.

i was 18 years, and 28 days old.

i was living at my grandparents.

i woke up to people talking in the next room, and the t.v. turned on really loud.

i left my room to find my grandpa and aunt wendy looking out the window to the airport, watching bigger than normal planes land. i asked what was going on, and they said they were grounding all flights. my very first thought that i remember was:

did someone bomb the world trade center again?

little.did.i.know.

i got myself together and went downstairs to watch on the t.v. i walked into the room, as i looked at the t.v. the the first tower to fall, fell.

i started to cry

i watched the t.v. all day long. i was glued to it. trying to figure out EVERYTHING that i could about what was going on. i couldn't stop watching. i remember being curled up on my grandma's couch, sitting in my grandma's spot, just glued.

why was this happening? what did we do? what about all those people?

the images will be forever ingrained into my brain. the faces. the buildings. the planes. everything.

i remember missing my mom. i wanted to be curled up next to her, so she could hold me and tell me that everything was going to be ok. because i was still just a kid. i AM still just a kid.

and there are some things that mothers have the power to just make better.

i cried. a lot.

and every year, as this date comes around. i still look at articles, still trying to soak up everything that i can about it.

i can't believe it's been 9 years.

it still seems like yesterday.

while i was in new york last month, i told stacy, that one of the things i HAD to do while there, was to visit Ground Zero. it wasn't a negotiation. i was going to go. so we made it happen. the "pit" as they refer it to is surrounded by a covered fence. it's hard to see in. and we couldn't find the building that you could get above it and look down into it. so we did what we could.

 

there is a church
 across the street from ground zero called st. paul's. they have a memorial basically set up inside. so we spent a lot of time in there going through things. they had letters, and basically showed what it was like during the recovery efforts. it was heart warming. i cried. i was choked up. i tried to take pictures, but i wanted to take it all in as well. so i admit that i didn't get as many as i was hoping to. the spirit in there was amazing. the ground around there was hallowed. you could feel it. we were standing in there and i watched a man come in, look around, and then he fell to his knees bawling. it really tugged at your heartstrings. there was so much that happened there, that you can't even begin to wrap your mind around it.

   

  

the sign on the pew says the following:

"THE PEWS

throughout the 9/11 relief ministry, the chapel's pews became a refuge for firefighters, police officers, and rescue workers. some came to sit quietly alone; others came to pray. many came to sleep, stretching out with a blanket, pillow and teddy bear provided by volunteers.  letters from children cvered each pew, offering an uplifting message of hope.

always read to be called back to "the pit" at any moment, workers kept their boots and equipment belts on, creating deep scuff marks in the pews. when the chapel was cleaned and refurbished in 2002, it was decided  not to repair the pews, but to leave the marks as a witness and a tribute to the workers.

today, st. paul's chapel continues to honor the first responders of 9/11 by participating in the 9/11 neediest medical campaign."

and in the blue section it says :

"fireman's coats hung over the pews were a common sight.

at left are items that you might have seen on the pews on any day of the relief effort - a FDNY coat, a police lieutenant's hat, a hard hat, a bandana bearing the words of Psalm 91 - all are mementos of the police, military, rescue and recovery workers who rested here"

here is a cool fire station that is located just a few blocks away as well. and it is still in service. how cool is that?

 

I hope to never forget that day, or how i felt. as i hope that no one ever forgets. and i thank God every day for those over fighting for this to never happen again. 

hugs and prayers. 

me.

Facts

fact : i really really really miss new york. i miss the sights, the feel, the people, the company, the awesomeness. i can't wait to go back.

fact : i really need to de-clutter my life. get rid of anything that brings me down, or doesn't build me up in anyway. and just clear everything out

fact : i am really tired of putting so much into a relationship/friendship when it's acted like it was never given. if someone wants to be my friend, then please show it. otherwise i get discouraged. especially if you treat me like crap, and still expect the effort i put into it. if you don't want to be my friend. fine. but don't act like you do, and then talk trash about me, or to me. it's not nice.

fact : i am usually very complimentative. i give a LOT of compliments. i, however, won't give one that i don't think is deserved. don't like it? tough. deal with it.

fact : i make up words like complimentative often.

fact : i am sitting next to the cutest sleeping boy you will ever lay eyes on. and he melts my heart at least once a day

fact : i am a better person because of my son.

fact : i really need to go to bed soon.

Capturing the Details

i was sitting here last night as bubba snuggled into me and fell asleep, feeling so much gratitude

i.am.so.lucky.

so lucky to call this little man mine.

i couldn't help but look at him, and see the little details that make him perfect.
because when he sleeps, he is perfect.

i really want his eyelashes

can't help but notice how big he is getting here

his toes, which i still count as often as i can

his hand, and how perfectly it fits into mine

his pouty lips, which he uses to deliver some of the sweetest kisses

again, see how big he is getting? so tall

his feet again

that sweet little face, little button nose, blue eyes. perfect.

his fingers, which he uses to get my attention

i just love him.

and i am oh so very lucky.

-me