Monday, November 22, 2010

is there another?

it's late
and i'm thinking again
usually not a good combination, but ah well, it's keeping me awake.

you know, one of those can't sleep until you can think something through nights. 

i've been wondering lately if there is another little to join our family. 
i wonder if they are out there yet, watching us, and just waiting for the right moment to come into our little family. 
is there another birthmother out there, that would see us fit to raise their precious child? 

we already know that we are going to have to fight to get everything turned in for another adoption.
we already know that
and we are working on it with everything that we have in us. 

but what if this is it? 
what if, there are just going to be the three of us?

i can't believe it. 
i KNOW there is another one out there. 
at least one. 

so, if i know that there is another one, why do i have these feelings of doubt? why do the little "this is it" things keep coming into my head? 
why is it so dang hard to get to that point that we can just push through?

i am trying to be patient. i really am.
but it's hard to be patient when everything depends on someone else.
hopefully things will work out quickly, so we can get started with it again. 

anywho...thanks for letting me voice my thoughts. 
let's hope i can go to bed now. 
if not, i will be sitting here, 
wishing, 
hoping, 
and praying 
that there is another one out there.

3 comments:

Michelle said...

So tender and sweet. My heart goes out to you. I can only imagine how it must feel to have things so out of your control - not that any of us have things in control, but I think you know what I mean... I can't wait until you finally have another little one in your arms, however he/she comes to be part of your family. I know she will be loved by all three of you. Love ya girl!

Bryan Carter said...

Yes sweety, there is another. When the moment is right, and you least expect it, and you have all but given up hope, there will be another. Just like the last one. You know who runs the clock in this little game of life. Trust him and keep up your faith, and that moment will come when He knows it is best for you.

mandy_moo said...

(((hugs))) love you, Tara.