friday confessions

~ i really don't like the cold weather. i know during the summer i say that i would rather be cold than hot, because then you can keep putting layers on to get warm, you can only take so many layers off when you're hot. 

but really. i just don't like the cold. the shivering, the tight knots in my shoulders from shivering, the MANY layers i have to put on to go out and do a photoshoot..

and the lack of wearing flip-flops. 

because i am a flip-flop girl. 

seriously. 

but my toes can only take so much. 

this means i have to move to hawaii, where i can wear flip-flops all year round. 

~i get nervous in social situations. don't get me wrong, i love going out and hanging out with people. 

in fact just tonight, i went to a friends house to play pictionary with a bunch of other friends, and LOVED it. 

but i usually get nervous, and try to think of excuses to stay in my house, with my comforts.

~ bubba told me today that he "liked dad better". i know he's only 3, and doesn't think everything through, and everything. but i have to admit that it kind of stung. he's been a momma's boy for so long. 

sam on the other hand is loving it. 

punk. 

~sam got a new job. he started it this last week, and we couldn't be more excited. not only will this give us insurance so we can continue on with another adoption, but it is more stable, and will give him more skills in the field that he likes. 

we are very excited. 

~i have a list a mile long of things i want to make. 

have i touched it?

not really. 

i need to work on that. 

~some days, my heart hurts. usually no reason at all, and it's hard to explain. 

i know what causes it, and i wish i could make it go away. 

i wish i was stronger to make it go away. 

sometimes i think i need to accept that it is going to hurt and deal with it. but i usually push it away and make due. until so much of me hurts i can't focus. 

luckily that doesn't happen too often. 

but when it does. it hurts. 

~i'm ready for bed.