june confessions

confession time

~i stink at updating this blog. i know many of you will agree with me on this. i apologize. 

~i am having a hard time with friends. i guess i put in way too much effort with people to be their friends. and no effort is returned. makes me want to give up. i often feel like i don't really have friends, just acquaintances. but no one i can really call and talk to. i try to be there for others, and try to be a good friend. but somehow, i think i'm failing. 

~in discussing the above issue with sam, we started discussing "love languages". i always thought that my love language was "gifts" or "physical touch", but in our discussion, we decided that my love language is "words of affirmation". i thrive when i receive compliments, or praise. and in the friend issue above, i don't often get that, so i feel i am failing as a friend. 

i don't know, maybe it's all just in my head. 

~i am over complimentary. unfortunately, this leads to people thinking i'm fake. i love receiving words of praise, so naturally, i give lots of praise. i don't ever give a compliment that isn't deserved in one way or another. but people start to think that i don't mean what i say, and that i am just fake. 

not.so.

~i have been having so many dreams about babies, that it makes me sad. i hope that this adoption process takes a shorter amount of time, rather than a longer amount of time!

the.end.