hello

hello. 

i'm tara. 

and i feel like i've been living under a rock for the past few months. :) 

i have been working my butt off. 

my photography has become our main source of income for the time being, and i am pushing everything i can to make that work. 

i love it. 

i want to do this more than just "on the side" 

i want to make it work. 

for my husband, 

for me family, 

for me. 

and watch me. i will make it work. 

bubba started preschool. 

he loves it. 

i cried when i first sent him off. 

but then, i suppose all mom's do, right? 

or maybe i'm just weird. 

he comes home from school every day, and tells me what he is learning. 

i love watching his mind expand. 

love it. 

he has started reading the short books. 

you know, the ones that go: 

"mat" "mat sat" etc. 

i believe he has that first book memorized. 

he is my life, and i love watching him learn. 

we went to sea world in san diego back in the beginning of august. 

that and the beach are my happy place. 

bubba's favorite part was shame, and the dolphins. 

he didn't like getting soaked by the pilot whales. 

holy cow those things drenched us. 

and then we tasted salt the.rest.of.the.day. 

but anyway, he liked the acrobatic show as well. the whole time during that, he kept saying he wanted to do that stuff. 

gymnastics anyone?

we also had the chance to go to the san diego zoo, and the beach, and old town san diego, and the redwood forests, and the beach, and the cheese factory, and the beach. 

loved every minute of that vacation. 

ok, that's a lie. i didn't so much like the afternoon driving through the middle of california (100+ degree temperature) in a vehicle with no air conditioning. 

i'm pretty sure i complained most of that hour. 

first world problems people. 

we also got to spend a few days in st. george with my sister tanielle. 

we went to zion's national park, which was my first time going. 

that place is GORGEOUS. i definitely want to go back, 

and not forget my memory cards so i can actually get pictures...

we had the chance to spend a couple of days with my friend melissa in elko, nevada. where we stopped along the way and attempted family photos. :) 

for my birthday this year, sam surprised me with a trip up to park city. 

he planned a sitter, hotel, everything! 

we got to stroll down park city main street (mind you, everything was basically closed at this point, but it was still fun. :)) 

we went to the olympic park and did the zip lines, the alpine slide, and the adventure courses, and the drop. 

it was a blast. 

i am SO thankful for the traveling that we have been able to do this year! 

in a few weeks, i will be traveling to new york with a friend. 

i am very excited for this trip, and can't WAIT for it to get here! i love being able to take photos in new places! 

and hopefully i will be posting photos on here again. 

we listened to conference a couple of weeks ago. and can i tell you how much better i feel? my soul feels happier, my burdens seem lifted, my heart seems to sing a little more. i know that the Lord will take care of me and my little family. i know that He knows what we are supposed to be doing right now. 

i just have to learn to listen. 

one of the harder things for me to do. 

but i'm trying. :) 

i am currently waiting for hubby to finish a game so i can drag him off to watch a movie with me. 

yes.

at 12:30 in the morning. :) 

because that's how we roll. 

here

still here. 

don't worry. 

i'll try to get back into the blogging mode. 

there's a lot that has happened the last few months,

and i've been running. 

running from e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.

but my body/soul is tired. 

so i'm slowing down, 

and i'm pretty sure that everything is going to catch up to me. 

and engulf me. 

and i have to let it. 

but no worries. 

i'll be ok. 

i just have to face some ugly stuff. 

and then i'll be ok. 

my boys will help pull me through whatever catches up to me. 

one of the reasons i love them both so. 

they save me. 

and then i'll be able to come out the other side, 

stronger. 

head held tall. 

happier. 

more at peace. 

just you wait. 

:) 

been awhile

it's been a while yeah? 

i know it has, and i apologize. 

well...not really. 

i've really just been putting this off. 

but i decided that i can't just blog once every couple of months. 

it's not good for the soul. 

this summer is shaping up to be a busy one. 

and i actually kind of like it. :) 

from this last weekend, until the end of july, i will have traveled to: 

elko, st george, manti, idaho falls, oregon, and california

if you can figure out how to fit that all in, please let me know. 

needless to say, it's going to get crazy. 

:) 

not that we aren't already crazy. 

we bought a zoo membership for the year. 

so far...

best.investment.ever. 

we love it.
 

we plan on going multiple times throughout the year. 

in fact, we are going tomorrow and spending some times with some friends.

we have also had some fun playing with cousins.
bubba would stay with them 24/7 if he could.
we sure love them.

we haven't heard any news on the adoption front. 

we had one close call, that didn't end up with us, but after taking my time to grieve, we look back on it now and think that it's probably for the better.
so we continue to wait, and trust that our Heavenly Father knows what is best for us.
even if i'm impatient. 

well, i am going to end for the night. 

my mind is way to heavy and i don't want this post to end up a depressing one. 

so we end with the positive note of heading to st. george in a couple of days. 

and hopefully i won't wait so long to update. ;) 

g'night 

peace

showers are my peace. 

they are where i go to think things over

they make me feel better

they are where i go to cry. 

they are my comfort

i've had a lot of things on my mind lately, and as i try to sort them out the one place i am drawn to go

is the shower. 

apparently bubba is drawn to them as well. 

i'm a lucky mom 

relax

this week is bound to get crazy. :) 

in a good way i beleve. 

you see, this week is bubba's birthday. 

he turns 4. 

any ideas on how to mentally handle your little getting bigger? 

because i'm going to need it. 

(yeah yeah, wait till he gos to kindergarten, or jr high, or high school, or his mission, or gets married..alright stop.)

 he can't grow up that fast.

i won't let him. 

or i will let let, and just cry about it. 

either way. 

he's so very excited for his birthday party. 

it's a SUPERHERO party. 

and i'm stepping into new territory with this birthday party thing. :/

but he's excited. so it's all worth it. 

yeah? 

aaaaaand, hunger games comes out this week. 

midnight showing baby. 

and i have an AMAZING husband, and mother who are going to go with me, and make it fun. :) 

(and an AMAZING sister who is watching bubba for the night)

i'm also in the process of contacting different people for various different things. 

and it feels like a million years between emails. 

even if it's only 5 minutes. :) 

SO. 

i've made a decision. 

i'm going to veg. 

yes, you read that right. 

we are going to do nothing the next two days other than staying in pajamas (ok...we MIGHT get fully dressed) and watching movies and playing with friends. :) 

i think i'm just as excited about it as bubba is. 

we are going to spend the next couple of days, just us and friends. 

playing, relaxing, and enjoying. 

take that world. :)

play dates

yesterday was such a perfect day! 

it was warm, and delightful, and the sun was shining, there was a slight breeze, and it was just...

perfect. 

my good friend callie asked us if we wanted to get together yesterday and let our kids play. 

of course. 

it gets me out of the house. :) 

we ended up going to a park that is nearby and letting our kiddios play for about 2 hours. 

then we went back to her house and they played for another couple of hours outside. 

they had a blast, and i enjoyed the company of a good friend. 

i absolutely love her. i can be myself with her, and not feel like she is judging me. 

i just love her, and am SO thankful to have someone like her in my life! 

here's a picture documentary of our day 

(i'm going to try and do this more often, so i can have more pictures of bubba's daily life)

 after sam got home last night, we went to a couple of stores. 

here is a conversation we had as we passed toy's r us. 

bubba: i want to go to that store!!

me: aww..i know, but that store is closed!

bubba: i will talk to Jesus and he will open it. 

(i then look back at him, and he has his hands folded together, eyes closed, head bowed, and he's praying with all of his heart)

bubba: (whispering his prayer) please let that store be open so we can go in and buy more toys. 

me: (attempting to hold in my laughter, and enjoy this)

bubba: i talked to Jesus (in a VERY excited voice)

me: i'm so glad that you can talk to Jesus, but it's ok if the store is still closed. 

bubba: Jesus is gonna open it. 

me: He is? 

bubba: yes, he has the keys. 

me: it might not be open until tomorrow, is that ok? 

bubba: course. 

oh boy. 

although it makes my heart smile knowing that he knows he can talk to Jesus when he needs something (or even wants something). 

love it. :) 

have a great week. :)

sicky sicky sick

*warning* this is a post about being sick. if you don't want to read about throwing up, etc. please stop now. :) you're welcome.

 

i am so sick of sick. 

it seems like either one of us or all of us have been sick all the time for the last few months.

i am sick of it. 

bleh.

a couple of weeks ago, when i went to the doctor, they said i had a sinus infection. 

took antibiotics for 10 days, and felt better for a couple of days. 

friday came around, and the doctor appointment that told us i didn't have cancer (yay!)

sam was SO sweet, and ended up coming home from work and surprised us at the doctors office by showing up, when i didn't think he would. 

i love that man. 

anyway, we decide to celebrate, and spend the day together. so after doing a few errands, we met up with my cousin and her kids at her house, and spent some time with them. 

we then went to a park, out to dinner, and then decided to catch a movie at the dollar theater. 

puss in boots. 

cute and funny movie. 

bubba was acting really tired, and wanted to snuggle on my lap. 

after the movie, we headed home and decided to play games together. 

bubba was acting kind of funny, and i should have known what was up, but alas. 

he kept going from sitting/laying on the couch, into the kitchen to get a drink, into the bathroom to just stand there. i asked him if he needed to use the bathroom, which he replied with "i don't know". 

about a minute later, i turn to look at him, and see him throwing up. 

all.over.the.bathroom.floor. 

i run in, lift up the toilet lid, and hold him over the toilet while he proceeds to throw up 3 times his volume. 

it was insane. 

seriously. i didn't know a kid could throw up that much. 

where did he hold it?!

strip down his clothes, and draw up a bath for him. he just lays in it. no energy. 

we clean him up, get him out, go to get him dressed. 

round 2 hit. 

luckily, sam had the bowl right there so it didn't get anywhere but the bowl. 

he's thirsty. 

we get him water, and get a bed set up for him in our front room. 

10 minutes later, round 3. 

but now, not only are we dealing with throwing up, but he's decided that he needs to go to the bathroom. 

great. 

both ends. 

he proceeds to throw up every 10-15 minutes until he has absolutely nothing left in him. 

then it's just dry heaving. 

then sips of water. 

then throwing up that water. 

this continued for about 5 hours. 

then a fever set in. 

he was up most of that night. saturday morning, he finally slept some. 

saturday afternoon, he took a 3 hour nap. 

i've never seen him so mopey, and tired. 

broke.my.heart. 

i spent most of saturday snuggling him, and trying to keep him comfortable. 

saturday evening, he kept saying he was hungry, we tried to get him to eat chicken and stars and some bread. 

took his first bite, and ran for the bowl. 

here we go again. 

luckily he just threw up that once on saturday night. 

sunday he was much better. we still just took it easy. 

monday, my tummy felt a little off, but not sick. 

monday night, sam tells me he doesn't feel good. 

i went up to bed so he could rest downstairs without me bugging him. 

i got a call at 5 in the morning. 

"i am thirsty, and need more water, but i can't get up and get it"

apparently he had been throwing up for 4 hours and didn't wake me up until he absolutely had to. 

poor guy. 

so tuesday, sam was down sick. 

wednesday, he woke up, and all he felt was tired. so he headed back to work, and has been fine since. 

then this morning, i woke up with my sinus's completely stuffed and unable to breathe again. 

oh boy. 

i am so sick of this. 

please sickness, just leave my house and don't come back for a while. 

i would really like us to be healthy for a couple of weeks!!